Remember yesterday how I had a little pity party and then slowly, cautiously, dried my tears and vowed to continue onward?
Are you familiar with the saying, "It's always darkest before the dawn" ?
Yesterday was the darkest. As I said, I felt less than up to the task I had placed before me. I woke up today with a new resolve and a renewed conviction.
And it happened.
I have been working on this ONE design for over a month now. The same one. It has changed and morphed and grown so quickly and so slowly. But today, with a chorus of angels encouraging me from behind, it finally came together.
To say I am grateful doesn't even come close to expressing the feelings I have. I have felt guided and directed. Pushed and pulled. Carried and walked beside. Yes, this is only fabric design. But for me it's been a journey of self discovery. Of recognizing and accepting talents, without apologies for trying to cultivate and grow them.
It's OK to have talents. And it's OK if you know what your talents are. And it's OK if you are proud of your talents. It's NOT OK to be proud because you have a talent, but you can delight in your talents.
They are gifts from our Heavenly Father. Given to us so we may experience the power of creating something from nothing. To create beauty and light around us. In whatever form. To fail to recognize and cultivate your talents is, I now know, an ungrateful act.
I am grateful for this lesson. It was a hard one for me to learn. There is a fine line between a mind set of gratitude, which includes acknowledging and using what has been given you, and being prideful, which is feeling entitled to what you have been given and feeling better than others because of it.
I was so afraid of even getting close to the prideful line that I struggled to have a true attitude of gratitude. It's hard to say, "yes, I have been given that talent and I have worked on becoming good at it!" For me I never want it to come across as, "yes, I am better than you at that!" So to even say I'm good, terrified me. But how can you be grateful if you don't even acknowledge that you have been given something?
And that is part of this journey. Accepting the light and love my Father in Heaven has provided to help me become who He needs me to be.
And it's OK to dream big. Nobody has the corner market on big dreams. They are available to anyone. You just have to find the courage to take that first step.