I've been doing fairly well on speaking softer and kinder. The trouble is, the kids do not listen to softer and kinder! So, I have started pointing out to them that I am speaking respectfully and peacefully and I expect them to react in the same manner.
Then, after the hundredth, billionth time of trying to be creative and fun and loving and get them to do something while they throw a tantrum or whatever I let them know I am done being nice. I tell them they have chosen to have a mean mom. I try not to be really mean, but I'm sure not as nice as I was! And by mean, I am just referring to the volume of my voice and how many privileges I will take away.
Funny thing is, they are learning. I noticed throughout the day that if I reminded them that they got to choose what kind of mom they interacted with by their choices they will stop and change. Whew! Hopefully, it will become habit for all of us sooner rather than later.
I worked on my website tonight. It's almost done!! Tonight I was writing my About page. I enjoy writing to people who know nothing about me yet. New friends are one of my favorite things.