I seriously have no clue what to write about tonight.
So I guess I just start typing and see what my mind is hiding from me.
The day was relitively normal.
Tell the kids to get in the van for school.
Have the 2 younger ones yell at me for interrupting their morning.
Have the 2 older ones act as if they have never gotten in the van before and need reminders to put one foot in front of the other.
Run the kids to school
Play with Sanders.
pick kids up from school.
Go to Costco to pick up ,my friend's sister's book Gifted (I know! Her first book and it debuted in Costco!!!! I support the big dreamers so I HAD to buy it.)
The day continues pretty much the same. More pick ups and drop offs. More resistance from the kids.
Something has got to change. I can't handle writing posts like this every.single.night.
It embarrassing and depressing.
Sure, I don't have to write this stuff out, but then the blog would be about hiding what is really going on and I'm sure those who really know me, know that I don't like to hide feelings.
I can't change anyone but me. Which makes the whole situation feel that much weightier. Somehow, what I am doing is helping fuel this unwanted behavior.
Talk about Mommy guilt.
What I DON'T want are comments telling me I am doing great. Thank you if you think that, but I am looking for solutions, not coddling.
What I DO want are examples from your own lives that you have helped foster a dependability and respect in your children.
I don't care if you've never commented before or not. I want change and for that to happen I need to grow and learn.
I have to believe there is something that can change my attitude to help create the family dynamic I dream about.