I'll start with the sunshine.
Oh my but it was a gorgeous day! The boys and I spent a good couple of hours outside soaking in the rays and trying some new toys.
So now that I have completed the burst cycle diet I have to find a new way to eat. I thought I had a pretty good handle of how I was going to transition from such a strict diet to one that resembles more of the general population.
How wrong I was. I was completely out of control. I ate more than I have in any single day in the last two months. I just couldn't stop.
I mentally calculated each calorie as I ate it, the shame growing with each bite, but I just couldn't stop. The more shame I felt the more I felt like I wanted to cover it, bury it, not own it and face it. Smothering it with food seemed like a quick solution at the time. How could I be so strong, so disciplined for six weeks? Not a single cheat. Not a single faulter only to completely fail at normal living after one day?
Honestly, I was embarrassed for myself.
Yes, I know I am being hard on myself. But mostly I am documenting my feelings. This is what I feel. Will I feel this always? I will work towards being able to say No. But for now, this is the real deal, folks.
Finally, I made myself take a bath. There is no food in the bathroom and I refuse to eat naked.
The goal now is to find a new normal for me. One that will keep me on the path to success.
That will be just as hard,, if not harder, than the burst cycle diet.