Beckham done with 5th grade

I have really been feeling like the very worst memory keeper of all. So this is an attempt to document at least this one thing, that I think Beckham will want to know later. 

Today, Beckham officially finished and passed all his requirements for 5th grade math in the Think Through Math program and will now start on 6th grade math. Go Beckham! He's worked really hard for this achievement and we are so happy for him that he accomplished it. 

Here's the email from his 5th teacher, Mrs. Eliason:  

"Beckham has finished the 5th Grade material on Think Through Math and will now be working on 6th Grade stuff.  Yay!  I am so proud of him!

He is such an amazing kid, I love having him in my class!

Laura Eliason"

Elementary school has been a challenge for him in that he can't always progress as quickly as he'd like. This is fine with Kevin and me because we realized that he only has these short years to be a kid. The majority of his life will be spent on being an adult and excelling as fast as possible. We've promised him that in Jr. High we will help him navigate any barriers he might encounter that impedes forward progress. But for now, we are happy it's mostly social learning for him (heaven knows that social learning is such an asset in real quality of life situations) with a few academic cherries he's been able to work for sprinkled in. 

I'm excited to see where he goes once the gates are open and he can run as fast and as far as possible. Love that kid. 

Miracle at the turtle

Our regional stake center is often called the Turtle. So named because it is built as a circle with a few rectangles coming off of it.

We had regional stake conference today. Basically, it's a two hour long sacrament meeting without taking the sacrament. For the last 10 years our (read Kevin and Emilie) goal has been to see how long we can wrestle the children while pretending to hear even one word of the speakers.

Well, today, my friends, I heard them all. Every word. All two hours worth.

I was in shock!

This, this is why we are doing adding to our family. It is so wonderful to be able to go to church for the intended purpose as opposed to teaching the children the appropriate behavior during such meetings.

HALLELUJAH!

I really do have wonderful kids. They are so smart, funny, and mostly well behaved. Some more than others ;)

Tonight Tennyson asked Kevin, "Is glad more than happy or is happy more than glad?"

Pretty deep thought for a 5 year old.

For the record, I think happy is more than glad, but Google says there is no difference in intensity.

My current phrase to tell the children when they start whining/arguing with me is, "Ooooooh, I hear you. You want me to wrestle you by your eyebrows. "

It catches them off guard and it's easier to get them back on track without too much contention.

I will be using this one until it's last leg.

Anything to keep the whining at bay. 

Firsts

Today my little family and I were on time to church! That is a huge cause for celebration because 9:00am church has been I gigantic hurtle. Until today we had never been on time. Hooray!

We also had our first family store tonight that goes along with our new chore chart. The kids had a choice of turning in some of their tickets for items in the store or holding on to them to save up for bigger ticket items.

Karaia and Beckham chose to hold on to them. Tennyson also chose not to spend any tickets, but then cried for a half an hour about not getting anything today and how unfair it was that nobody would combine tickets with him so he could get the big ticket item right away. He is our immediate gratification kid. It was a huge, although painful, step in the right direction for him. I'm very proud of him.

Sanders went in knowing he was going to come out with something. He bought a butterfly net, but then about 20 minutes later came and asked to switch it to something different. I'm not sure the reason behind the switch, but he chose a flashlight and a lollipop and got a one ticket back.

I reminded the kids they could ask to earn tickets when they are on level two. We will see if that motivates some entrepreneurs this week.

New Leaf

I am finally feeling better.

I went with my mom to an expo and came home with a new chore chart. Family Do Dots .

 I saw it a few weeks ago and immediately thought this was exactly what I'd been looking for. I have been making chore charts for the kids for over a year now.

Seriously, a whole year.

I just could get excited about what I'd decided to do.

Do Dots was perfect. It came in one box, everything was done for me, everyone is on one chart, and today, at the expo, it was on sale!

I love the Family Night part at the bottom. When you have your assigned part completed you put your color magnet on the top. And since this is something the kids will be looking at everyday we will always be ready for Mondays.

I think I'm going to just do names instead of pictures. The kids grow up so fast and I want to use this system for a long time. 

I'm so excited for Monday!

Sunshine and Snow

Today started really well. I even showered before the kids left for school!

I honestly can't remember the last time that happened.

I ALSO got my work email inbox down to zero! Hooray!

There was blue sky and sunshine this morning as well.

Now there is snow everywhere. And I still haven't done laundry. Don't judge.

The launch date for the fabric company is coming up. Lots of tweaks that kind of take up a good chunk of the day. It's a good problem to have.

If you haven't noticed I'm not super good at getting my plate cleared. I get super focused on one section and the rest goes unnoticed for too long...until it can no longer be ignored.

Still, it's been a good day. Despite having to remind Karaia and Beckham they cannot leave each other when they walk home from school. I spent quite a bit of time, on super snowy, slippery roads looking for Beckham in the storm because he left the place he said he would wait and Karaia took longer than she said she would take, which was his excuse for leaving. Either way, they both made choices that could have made for a very sad ending.

Luckily, we did not crash and we found Beckham. But I was pretty disappointed in their selfishness. I made them shovel. Even though, as they pointed out, there was no real point in shoveling since the snow covered everything just as quickly as you could clear it away. I did it for two reasons.

1: To give them time with no distractions to think about how the contributed to the situation and to realize how it could have ended really horribly on such a bad weather day.

2: Give them time to talk with each other and figure out WHY it happened the way it did. And understand the reasoning behind each other's  actions.

I believe it worked.  My mom was over when I was giving Beckham the what for. It wasn't pretty because he was feeling entitled. Oh well. I'm pretty sure she understands :)

Sanders is with my mom for a Nana Night. He couldn't be more thrilled! He loves spending time one on one with anyone, but especially Nana.

We are still waiting for Kevin to get home. It's taking longer because of the storm. I hope he walks in soon.

Small success are big to the small ones

• 
  
  My morning was kind of grumpy because of some choices the older kids were making, me being classified as one of the older kids as well.
  
   BUT, amidst all of that I managed to remember that today, the 3 year old got to be Captain at preschool. He's been looking forward to it for a long time. Talking about it on every preschool day since the beginning of October. I even remembered in enough time this morning to help him make sucker ghosts for his treat to share. (Thank goodness I threw myself out of bed at 5:30am this morning to go work out. It's rough, but the extra time I seem to have in the mornings is good stuff.)
  
  When I dropped him off he giggled to his teacher that is was HIS turn to be captain and that he had brought sucker ghosts that he got to help make. Also, that the boots he was wearing because it snowed for the first time this season had a line pattern on the bottom. That's important information right there.
  
   He was so full of joy.
  
  I'm glad I had the presence of mind to think, "If nothing else goes right today, I am going to remember that for him, it was the best. day. ever!"
  
  Not a whole lot got done the rest of the day, but I feel like today mattered. I made it count. I did what was really important. The one single item I am able to cross of the list was worth more points that the rest of the list put together.
  
  To end the night on a high point, Beckham attended his first Pack meeting and earned his Bobcat. I got a Mother's pin for his hard work. Truth be told, the pin belongs to Kevin. They have been rock stars together as far as this scouting thing is concerned. Me? Well, I am just going to make darn sure this pin doesn't get lost!
  
  
  
  
  

  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  It's lovely to go to bed knowing the day was used well. 

Day to day

I have all the Disneyland photos loaded! It's going to take...years I'm guessing to write the post. Especially, since I'm finding it hard to remember the details I didn't want to forget.

Which brings me to today. Nothing special, per say happened, but I'm feeling the need more and more to document just so I don't forget.

I helped the youth in our ward paint scenery for a thing our stake is doing called Youth Tube. Each ward's youth, mutual age, is supposed to write, direct, film and edit a short movie. The leaders aren't supposed to do any of it. I just supplied the location and the paint, that I had in my garage, for the scenery. It took 3 hours, but I am really proud of them.

Tonight was the Young Women's Daddy Daughter date. They also invited the activity day age girls which meant Karaia got to come. She was in cloud nine! She asks every week if she can come to mutual with me.

The girls did a great job and Jo'elle gave some fabulous tips and reminds of how and why to have a good daddy/daughter relationship. At one point I looked over at Kevin and Karaia and they were sitting as close as possible, snuggling. It was heart warming.

I hope all our children know how much we love them and are so proud of them..

Break in the clouds

Good things have been happening around here! I'm taking charge of my health, yet again, and while it's not smooth sailing we are at least sailing in a positive direction.

But the biggest accomplishments have come from my Beckham. He's like a different kid. I was worried that the 3 weeks without friends and screen time would cause a further downward spiral, but Kevin and I felt it had reach a level that needed big consequence. Boy, am I glad we stuck with it!

Beckham has been responsible, kind, respectful, helpful, and overall just pleasant to be around. His siblings have noticed it too and the four of them have played with each other, and only each for days, all day long with hardly any grievences.

It's been like our own personal Heaven.

I am just so, so proud of him and how much effort he has put into making this change. He reminds us that he doesn't get screen time if we forget and suggest that for an activity. He still does not love every job that is required about him, but he voices his dislike in a respectful manner. Such an amazing transformation!

The other good news is Beckham is now pool safe. Meaning he can swim in the deep end safely without a life jacket. It's SUCH a great thing to have the two older kids safe around water.

Wahoo! Our little family is moving into a really fun time of life. So very exciting!!

I can

I read a lot of blogs. I mean a LOT. I am all subscribed with my nice little Google Reader that tells me who has put up a new posts and how many of them. That way I can read them all from one spot and they will keep until I have a free moment to get to them.

I also love Pinterest . The two seem to go hand in hand really. Because of Pinterset, today I found my new favorite blog. I personally choose to believe that the timing is anything but coincidental. I found 71 Toes because of her Daughter of God Week post for Young Women's. As I began to look around her blog I realized she is the daughter of two authors who have written books that have been on my radar to read for quite some time now (thank you Annie!).  In particular, I didn't plan to be a witch and Other Surprises of Joyful Mother by Linda Eyre and....really after the last post the perfect placement of this into the forefront of my mind yet again is just too much to ignore.....The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership by Richard and Linda Eyre. 


Do you have goosebumps? Because I do! 


I searched my local libraries, but none of them have copies available for some time. So I bought them. 


Then I continued to read posts from 71 Toes and have decided that she needs to be one of my new friends. So much light and joy and real life coming from that one. Admitting she loses her temper at times but trying so hard to focus on the end goal. There is nothing more I love than to admire someone who is imperfect, knows it, but believes they can do more. 


I'm grateful to my Father in Heaven for sending the help he has sent. It's seems to be just the hug and pep talk I need to be the Mom I dream of being and helping my children become the people they were sent to be. 


Thank you to those who commented on the last post. It's always nice to know you have a cheering section when you momentarily forget how to cheer.

recommitting to being recommitted

Seriously. Are you sick of me yet. I quite am.

I just need to get my act together and BLOG. I am missing so much documentation of my life, my children's lives. The trouble is there are pictures to upload. I  don't know why that is the trouble...post with pictures are great. But it seems to be my Goliath when it comes to blogging.

The thing is, is I need this outlet. To record my happy and sad moments.

For example, if I may get more personal than I have been in quite some time, my son, Beckham, the 7 year old, is struggling. A lot. There is a lot of disrespect and blatant disobedience and blaming everyone and everything under the sun for the consequences except himself.

I feel I am at a loss. Kevin and I are very consistent parents who follow through with the consequences and still he continues to choose behaviors he knows will, in the end, make his life harder and then he has, as he puts it, "the worst summer ever all because of YOUR stupid consequences!"

Now I am not so old that I cannot not recognize that much of that statement was said for the shock value. And yet I am shocked. Shocked that there could possibly be a being that comes from me, that has been raised by me, that does not take owner ship of his own actions. Both Kevin and I are very clear about that topic with our children. It's fine to feel anger. It's fine to feel sad. It's fine to feel mischievous. It is even welcome to express those feelings if you are in control of yourself and respectful when doing so. But we have taught our children to take ownership, or so we thought, of their behaviors if they choose to loose control. And we expect them to loose control to an extent. They are after all only children. That is fine. Just take ownership, learn from it what you can, apologize, and grow.

Underneath all this anger and disrespect is SUCH a good kid and he is very, very loved. We try to show that love a lot. He has so much potential and a heart to go with it. I'm not sure where the anger is coming from. He is mostly well behaved when we are away from home. Which I am thankful for. It gives me hope. When he is home it is a different story.Everyone is always wide eyed when they learn of some consequence Beckham has earned. I've seen the questions in their eyes about whether this isn't too much of a consequence. But I can't be worried about what anyone else thinks. Only what Beckham is learning....or not learning it feels like.

Mostly I am just terribly, terribly sad. He's only 7 for goodness sake. Shouldn't this trial come a bit latter? Shouldn't you feel at a complete loss in the parental department when you have at least 13 years of happy relationship building to fall back on?

I'm hesitant to post this incase you get the wrong impressions of Beckham or our family life. We really do have it great, today just seemed especially.......character building shall we say. Doesn't me we still can't find joy, it may be a bit more hidden, but it's still there.

Customer satisfaction

I like to do a customer satisfaction check with my kids every now and again. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the day, my children are fairly forth coming with their opinion on my behavior so I am able to get accurate data.

Tonight I asked Karaia and Beckham if they thought I was mean.

Karaia knotted her eyebrows disbelievingly and declared, "Never mean! Maybe a little grumpy sometimes....but not mean."

Beckham quickly said, "A few times."

"What have I done that you felt was mean."

"When Karaia encourages you to believe that I did something and then you believe her."

I turned to Karaia who looked at me with the I'm-just-an-innocent-little-angel-who-has-never-pushed-anyone's-buttons-just-to-watch-them-get-mad face.....hmmmm yeah right.

"Wouldn't that me more of a complaint with Karaia than with me?"

"Well....you believe her...and that's mean."

"OK Bud, I will try and figure out what is really going on, but if you are the one that did something wrong, you are still going to get in trouble."

"That's kind of mean."

Sigh.

There's no pleasing some customers.

Watched over

The kids were amazing today. We were pretty much on time to church. The were very well behaved according to their ages during church. And I only had to ask one time before things were done.

I believe they each have a little angel helping them....which in turn helps me.

I feel very taken care of.

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Different plans

It is only 5:30 pm and all my children have been sequestered to their rooms for the remainder of the evening.

Sigh.

It started out with a few instructions.

"OK, Guys, Dad is gone for two more weeks and we are out of food, diapers, and wipes. We've got to go to a few stores. First we'll go to Children's Place to return a few items. We'll be in there for about 5 mins. I expect everyone to behave. Next, we'll go to Target and then we will go to Costco and have dinner there. Does everyone know the plan?"

"Yes!"

"Let's go over store behavior rules. What's the number one rule?"

"No running."

"Good."

"What's another rule?"

"No touching unless we ask."

"Good. And the last one?"

"No screaming."

You have to know that my children are very well drilled in appropriate behavior when we are in a public setting. This conversation happens every. single. time. we are about to enter a public venue. And most of the time they do pretty good to follow the rules.

Tonight was different.

I put Sanders in a stroller and asked Karaia to push him around the store to keep him occupied while I found the items I needed to exchange and then complete that transaction. I gave Beckham Tennyson's hand to hold and told them they were welcome to walk around the store (it's a small area and I am able to see them from wherever I am) but they were not allowed to touch anything or goof off.

Within a few minutes Sanders comes cruising by me, out of his stroller, and I can hear Tennyson running toward me.

I found Karaia and asked her why Sanders was out. "He kept saying, 'Out!'."

I stopped Tennyson and asked him why he was running, "Because Beckham told me to run to Mom."

I found Beckham and explained he was not allowed to let go of Tennyson's hand and that I was almost done so please go and look at something quietly until I called for them.

I picked up Sanders to replace him in the stroller. Then the screaming started. He had tasted freedom and was not about to give it up.

Meanwhile, as I am literally wrestling to strap Sanders into the stroller while he his screaming at ear piercing volume, I see Beckham walk by....without Tennyson. Shortly, I can hear Tennyson running the perimeter of the isles. "Tennyson, WHY are you running?"

"Beckham told me to run to Mom."

I finally got my screaming banshee child strapped in a told the others that I was leaving. Right. Now!

They were all very upset. But seriously.

I explained to Karaia that Sanders is TWO and does not get to run the show. I don't care how many times he vocalized that he wants out. It's not an option! And I questioned Beckham as to why he would teach his little brother to do something that is so clearly known as a rule breaker.

We were in the store for no longer than 10 mins.

I feel bad for the people that had the unfortunate chance of being there the same time as us.

So, we still have no food, barley enough diapers, and, I am crossing my fingers, enough wipes. The kids were fed one hot dog and then banned to their rooms.

It may be harsh, but at least they'll be alive tomorrow.

The early bird gets....a grumpy mom

Guess who decided to wake up at 5:40 am?

Sanders.

Guess who decided to wake up at 5:45 am?

Tennyson.

Guess who decided that 6:45 am was a good time to start their day?

Karaia and Beckham.

yawn.

If I weren't such a night owl, this might not be as big of a deal. Seeing as I am, it is. It's hard to be the best mom you can be when you are tired.

The best gifts

The best gifts anyone could possibly give a mother are

1) A nap

2) A meal that is already prepared

My mom gave me both today! Thank so much mom! It made all the difference.

On edge

Kevin left for the first part of what will be a three week business trip. Everything today was quite normal, except me.

I was on edge all day. A bit snappy, a bit moody.

The kids kept looking at me wondering why there was a low growling coming from me when all they were doing was breathing.

Sigh.

I think I'm so wound up bracing for things to be hard that I am forgetting that we've done this before and we'll be OK.

The kids were actually great. Even better than usual.  It was just me being a pill.

Hopefully, now that I've isolated the problem I can move forward in a different direction.

A little light

We made the decision to stay home to watch conference instead of watching it with family. We did this because the last few conferences have been a struggle and we were trying to give it the best chance for success.

I think it worked. I heard more talks this session then I have I who knows how long.

Hooray for the small miracles!

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Possible confession

Tonight, I may or may not have said, "It's really frustrating to be the mother of children who don't seem to care that they are slowly driving their mother crazy!"

And that, my dear readers, should say it all.

Shining

The sun does this soul SO much good!

My kids were hilarious today. I can't even remember any specific thing they did or said, but I DO remember laughing a lot and thinking what a lucky girl I am that these pint size people are mine. Seriously lucky.

Oh wait. See

That is Tennyson. Sportin' some super styling pink goggles in the bathtub because they were calling his name. Also, because it aids in looks at toys under water.

We spent a good deal of time outside today, playing basket ball, eating lunch,

sanding (yes, another project. No, I haven't forgotten that I haven't shown you my last project yet), riding bikes, going exploring, playing in the sand...er...I mean...mud box. It was glorious.

More days like this one PLEASE!

One of THOSE posts

We're about due, don't you think?

A post of frustration belonging to a young mother. I struggle with these every time.

On the one hand, this is my real life, my real feelings and I hope by documenting my human-ness it will be a help to someone else. Mostly for my children that they can see their mom was not perfect and she was willing to look that face on and try and change it with the help of her Father in heaven. And, and this is the truly important part, that she loved them so, so, SO much but she is just so, so, SO imperfect.

On the other hand I want my children to remember the good times and forget all the time I fell far, far too short of being the person/mother they deserve and bury away all the bad times.

So you see, I struggle.

Oh how I could use more patience today.

Tennyson is 3. Is that enough for everyone out there to understand why I am in need of an extra supply of patience?

Beckham is 6 but truly believes himself to be 18 and has the attitude of an 18 year old. You know where the teenager KNOWS everything and everyone else just needs to play catch up? Sadly, this attitude, while well meaning, he really is just trying to educate everyone in a helpful sort of way, has received the brunt of my frustration. He forgets that they might already know/not care what he is trying to teach them. That is a completely alien concept for someone who ALWAYS wants to know things and therefor assumes that he is providing people with things they do not already know, but probably really want to. To him, he is preforming a service.

Sanders turns 2 next week AND decided to jump/fall from his crib this afternoon because taking a nap was a ridiculous suggestion.

On the flip side they are good kids, they really are. Some days they are more Kid than Good, but for the most part I wouldn't trade them in....maybe just send myself on a little vacation...but not a trade in.