I've been thinking a lot about my fabric dream. Mostly about the fact that it's taking a whole lot longer than I had anticipated after having such a great reaction from the manufacturers at Market.
I've had some very sweet and tender experiences that confirm to me that I should still pursue this, but that doesn't mean that I don't get discouraged or even a bit embarrassed when I get asked how things are going and I have to say, "Still just talking to companies." At least I do have some communication lines open, that's something.
I've also been thinking that finding happiness before your BIG ticket item shows up is a true talent. One that takes cultivating, determination, and mindfulness. It's so easy to get lost in the thoughts of what could be perceived failures instead of being mindful of all that HAS been successful and how much further you are than when you first started.
That being said, a comment from someone at church really struck me. We were talking about talents and making them and including the Lord in the decision process. This lady said that in the Mid west, where she is from, there is a lot of farming. One year they'll plow and plant the fields going North to South, the next year they will plow and plant the field going East to West. And some years they just let a field sit. This, of course, is to allow the plants to get the best possible chance of all that they need to grow at their absolute maximum.
Thinking about just letting the field sit, I was very struck with the idea that sometimes I feel that is what the Lord does. It doesn't mean the life of that field is over. I means it needs time to gain some more nutrients so that when the seeds are planted the foundation is strong enough to give all that they need. The farmer hasn't forgotten about it. In fact, he's probably highly aware of it because it's lost income for him to let it sit, but he recognizes that in the long run it's for the best.
I'm grateful for all I learned today. I hope to be able to gain a firm foundation of being happy during the journey and not just when there are things growing.