Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Moments of clarity

I'm sorry to sound like a broken record. Trust me, what I share here is nothing compared to what I subject myself too ;)

I have been feeling like I have been obsessing focusing intently on the fact that with Fall Market coming up this weekend I still have no contract despite such a positive response to my art during Spring Market. It's a little daunting to realize that there will be more potential designers at Fall Market showing their art work. It just means it will be that much harder in an already saturated market. Frankly, I'm a bit embarrassed by this. It's hard not to label the time line as a failure.

I was lamenting this fact to my hairdresser and second guessing decisions I had made. She said, "But wouldn't it be awful to be miserable doing something you're so passionate about?"

It was like the clouds parted and the sun peaked out. It's true. When it happens, and I truly believe that it will happen, maybe 8 years from now, but it will happen,  I want to be so very happy doing what brings me so much joy. I need to trust that the Lord's timeline is so much better than mine. There's no embarrassment in that. I much further than I was before Market. That can definitely be defined as a success.

The other moment of clarity came during dinner time. We were all laughing about something and I just stopped and looked at my amazing family and thought, "If this is my greatest success then I am already living the dream." I had been feeling happiness, but not contentment because of some piece of paper that would ensure that my designs would be printed. But tonight, during the crazy time of dinner, the contentment came.....without any legal documents.

For that I am very grateful.


April Weeks said...

The most important legal document you have is your sealing in the temple.

I too feel that your fabric designs are a "when" not "if"

(a war slogan from 1939)

Tobi said...

Beautifully written...and realized. The world deserves the beauty you can give it.

Lawson Family said...

Love it! A fabric line will be a bonus to your success you have already accomplished with your family.