But?

After running a few errands with the boys, I said," Well that was a fun adventure! "

Sanders answered as Sanders always answers these days," Why? "

Distracted with driving I half heard myself say, "Because, that was a fun surprise! " not really paying attention to my word choice.

Looking confused he said, "What? But....I don't have puppy! "

And now I know surprise in Sanders-land means he's expecting to get a puppy.

--------

I reminded Karaia that if she had to be reminded to stay on task one more time (this of course coming after multiple times of reminding her) she wouldn't be able to join us for FHE.

She had to be reminded...more than once. As she was stomping downstairs, lamenting her consequence, she informed me, "Mom, it's called FAMILY night. Not, 1/4 of a family night! "

We compromised. She was able to be part of the lesson and scripture and songs, but couldn't take part in the treat or activity.

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So....

I haven't posted in a few days and that is just weird. I've wanted to, but not enough make it happen. And that, my friends, is just lame.

Potty training is exhausting. Even if you don't have accidents...which we have, not many, but enough...the constant reminding to go potty, get COMPLETELY undressed, him not me, because going to the bathroom with anything more than a shirt is ludicrous, then getting REDRESSED every half hour is a word, exhausting.

Sanders has done fairly well. He hasn't had very many wet accidents and only 2 1/2 poop accidents. Why the half, well something came out, completely round. It then bounced off his underwear barely leaving any mark, and rolled down his leg. Then, THEN he picked it up and brought it to me on the palm of his hand! And then. handed. it. to. me! Why did I take it?!?!?!? I think I was afraid he would drop it and squish it. I don't know. There was POOP in a hand. I panicked.

YUCK!!!!!! Excuse me while I gag.

Here's a little back information, that is pretty much too much info, but he is my kid that poops on average 5 times a day. And since he decided to start potty training on Tuesday, he has only pooped 3 times. The whole 3 days. It's like he's scared to do that on the toilet.

Sigh.

Potty training.....Yay?

Still here's a cute picture of Sanders after having a particularly successful day.

Oh wait. I mean THIS one. That one is just hilarious!

He's probably cute enough that I can keep doing this. Except the poop in the hand part...I'm not doing that again.

Do I dare?

Today Sanders said something that I was pretty sure was far into the future, "I need to go potty!" He said this right as we were dropping Tennyson off at preschool. Out of the blue. He held it in all the way home and after a few minutes on the toilet he successfully went.....both "kinds"!!!

He then flatly refused to wear diapers the rest of the day.

What the ?!?!?!

Um, I am SO not ready for this. It was not on the radar. We've been casually talking about when he turns 3, on March 2,  we will become serious about this whole potty on toilet business. And maybe about 4 or 5 times a week, as we were changing a diaper, we will offer him the chance to sit on the toilet. He has refused nearly every time, to which we always say, "OK. Let me know if you want to go potty on the toilet." End of discussion.

So today's little "announcement" floored me.

UGH! I HATE potty training! But usually I have time to prepare myself....

Since we are doing this thing I will record how the day went from 1pm on.

1:20 First potty success (BOTH) YAY!

Did the potty dance, called his favorite friend Rhyse and Daddy. SUPER excited.

Put underwear on.

2:00 Wet underwear --this one was TOTALLY my fault. I made the rookie mistake of forgetting that just because he went on the potty doesn't mean the training was over. I forgot to remind him.

2:05 set the timer for every 15 mins.

2:19 (1 min before the timer was going to go off) Wet underwear (Bummer!)

One more Pee success and dry underwear until the rest of the day!!! He even started running to the bathroom without me prompting if he heard the timer go off first.

YAY Sanders!

This wasn't the MY plan, but I'm hoping that because Sanders start it, it will go better than I think it's going to go. I'm pretty sure it's going to be, well you know, potty training.

Wish us luck!

Religion

I'm following this great blog. I have been for a few years now. She recently found out she has cancer. She's only a few years older than me and is seriously one of the most positive, joyous people.

Her post today was on going back to her church. She has felt in the past church was not her thing and that she was very religious regardless of her church attendance. That God was not "IN" church but in how she lives her life. I've followed her for awhile and I strongly believe that she is very religious and one of the best people I have ever heard of. She gives Heavenly Father all the credit for her life and she recognizes that even the hard parts of the journey are being orchestrated for her good. So much light and joy and well doing have come because of the way she leads her life.

It makes me sad though that so many feel that attending a church is restrictive. That they aren't being true to who they are if they follow the "restrictive" rules of an organized religion. Life is restrictive in general. Every action has a consequence, good or bad. Even outside of religion. Sure you can do what ever the heck you want and not follow ANY of the rules or guidelines, but your life will reflect that and there will be many consequences you chose that I doubt you'll be happy with.

It's your choice to spend the night outside in the snow. No one can FORCE you to seek a restrictive shelter. 

If my children want dessert I'm going to require them to eat their dinner. Not because I am trying to control their life, or their behaviors but because I love them and I know they will be healthier and therefore happier if they don't skip the part that is still very important. EVEN though skipping dinner and going straight to dessert might make them feel happier in the moment.

I've always thought this way. It's not a chore. It's an opportunity. I don't have to go to church. It's my choice. I happen to like the consequences of going. A break from the negativity of the general contentions of the world. A renewal of my personal faith and spirituality, And a contentment that I am heading in the direction that will put me where I want to be in the future. A chance to learn more and be uplifted my other people's journeys. It's a good place to shut out the distractions and focus on important things.

Of course this is not the "popular" point of view. It's MUCH easier to say, "You don't need church to be religious." Of course you don't, but that's that same as saying you don't need dinner to live. You can stay alive by only eating dessert.  Both statements are true. But it's easier to live a long, full healthy life if you eat a well balanced dinner. You DO need dinner to be healthy...to be the BEST you can be.

I guess that how I see it. Yes, you absolutely can be spiritual and in tune with God with out Church. But life is hard enough. Why try and do it on your own when there is SO much help offered?

Closer

I should hear from the fabric manufacturing company any day now. I go through moments of just KNOWING it's going to be a No to moments of just KNOWING it's going to be a yes.

I still have a major case of designer block, but my job with Pick Your Plum is forcing me into some new illustrator skills as a by product and that feels really great.

I'm scared to email the company because I kind of don't want to know. If they say No it truly will be back to square one. Up to this point there has always been someone else I was waiting for as well. If it's square one then that means going back to Market and frankly that is not in the budget for the year.

Wouldn't it be amazing if it was a yes?!?!?!

Boys

I'm listening to the two little guys dividing all the hot wheel cars up before they can begin playing,

"Sanders, do you like blue?"

"Uh huh!"

"Do you like green?"

"Me like green and blue!"

"You like green blue?"

"Yup!"

"What about red?"

A gasp of complete disbelief, "NO. Not red!"

Sheesh...you'd think Tennyson had asked him to eat something gross.

Choices

You know, something that I've always know, but have really been focusing on this last week is the fact that while I may not have total control over what I am feeling, it comes down to my personal choice as to how I act with that feeling. MY choice.

I can choose joy amidst anger or sorrow or disappointment. I am in control.

I find that very empowering.

Productive

I have a few people in my life who are just SO darn productive. It amazes me. I don't know how they do it and be moms and keep their houses clean, etc. It's like I can focus on one area and that's it.

I can be creative, or I can be a great mom, or I can keep a clean house, or whatever. Try and combine any of those things and none of them goes very well. What's the deal?!?!?

Am I the only one like this.....?

Hmmmm, maybe I don't want to know.

Scripture Tracker

1 Ne chp 4 vs 24 - 38

Blocked or Content?

You know how I have a lot of dreams?

Well I am stuck. I have a serious case of designers block. It's almost as if I am so completely loving my life right now that the drive has lessened a bit. It's not that I didn't love my life before, but I felt like something was missing. There was more to do. Not that it's gone, but, at the moment, it doesn't ache like it normally does. It makes the saying, "Suffering Artist" come to life. I feel like what I have learned in the journey has changed me SO much. For the better. Even though the dream hasn't come true, I am who I always wanted to be...even without the dream.

Interesting.

This is a good thing right? To be satisfied with where your life is? I don't feel like I've settled, but the fact that I'm not feeling as driven is new to me. I find myself mistaking it as laziness so I hop on down to the computer and my sketch pad to light the fire again and nothing happens. My dreams have been design free. That's just plain weird for me. I haven't even tried to 'Dream remodel' my house in forever. For weeks now this has been the case. Then I put the sketch pad down look at all the cute little people around me and go play.

Can't beat that.


I will still strive to achieve my goal. But for now, I think I've gotten a pretty clear sign that it's time to enjoy these moments.


Scripture Tracker

Yesterday

1 Ne Chp 4 vs 1-5

Today

1 Ne Chp 4 vs 6-23

( I think it's funny how clearly you can tell what kind of day we have had by the amount of verses we have read. Ha!)

Humbling

I didn't blog yesterday. It was very liberating to realize I felt no guilt about it this morning!

Today Beckham, my first grader, learned a really good lesson about why bragging is not so awesome. He has been given the opportunity to go with the 3rd graders for math. He had been asking his teacher for this chance since about week 2 of school. The 3rd graders go into a different room during this time. As they were lining up, apparently Beckham made sure the rest of the class noticed, in no uncertain terms, that he also was lining up.

Thankfully, Mrs. Pickett is amazing and was able to pull him aside and explain how his actions made others feel and how she was just as excited for him as he was and that he is an awesome kid, but there is a time and a place for everything.

Well all Beckham heard was that he is an awesome kid because by the time he got home and I asked him about it (I happened to have volunteered in their class today and Casey (Mrs. Pickett) told me all about it) he had no memory of bragging....at all. SO we called Mrs. Picket , and by we I mean I made Beckham call Mrs. Pickett, and have her refresh his memory. This time I think it stuck. Of course she, and I still praised him for this amazing accomplishment, but we were very clear that he would lose it if he chose to continue bragging about it.

Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of Beckham. He has wanted this chance for SO long and has been very proactive with Mrs. Pickett getting everything she required of him done so he would be ready when it came. It was all him. He worked hard and earned it. I don't want to diminish that.

But it is one thing to feel pride for a job well done.....It is quite another to rub it in everyone's face.

I'm so very thankful he is learning these lessons at 7 and not at 17. AND, once again, I am SO, so, SO thankful Casey is there to help me teach him!!!

Scripture Tracker

Yesterday:

Finished 1 Ne chp 2 vs 17  - Ch 3 vs 20

Today:

1 Ne Chp 3 vs 21 - 31

Small Fail

Yesterday we didn't read the scriptures as a family. Not even a week and I failed on my goal. Boo.

Well, I can look at this two ways.

1) Epic failure. What's the point. Way TOO large of a goal

OR

2) Yes, will not be able to say we read the scriptures as a family every day this year even though I WAS able to blog every day last year, BUT getting 6 people to do something every day is a lot harder than getting one person to do something every day. And so, we will just continue as if we didn't miss.

Of course I'm going with outlook # 2. I am disappointed, but Sundays are very challenging for us, especially now that we have changed to 1:00 pm church. Tennyson was a wreck by the time we got home from my dad's for dinner and it was all we could do to get him to bed. I totally forgot about scriptures as I was worrying about my OTHER goal of keeping my temper in check...We will just read scriptures before church to avoid this in the future.

Tonight we used family night as our scripture reading.

SCRIPTURE TRACKER

Moses 6: 62

Fasting

As part of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I practice fasting on the first Sunday of every month for at least two meals. This practice is NOT mandatory but encouraged. Children are not encouraged to fast until they turn 8.

Today was Fast Sunday. Karaia turned 8 last December and has yet to miss fasting during any Fast Sunday. We never have reminder her. In fact, it's usually her reminding Kevin and I what day it is. She's never complains.  It just something she wants to do.

Every ward changes the time that they meet in January. In 2011 our ward met from 11 - 2. This year we meet from 1 - 4 pm. It makes Fast Sundays a bit more challenging for everyone, but especially someone who hasn't done it for that length before. This was Karaia's case.

Again, she didn't hesitate this morning to remember what day it was. And when the boys were having lunch she quietly played down stairs not complaining. But with 20 minutes left of the last meeting she truly understood what it meant to be fasting. It was very, very hard for her. But she did it. She was pretty proud of herself after she got a bit of food in her tummy ;)

Finally!

It finally looks like winter around here today!

The kids LOVED it! Well, Sanders really liked the "idea" of it and eating it, but the temperature forced him inside after about 20 minutes.

The three bigger kids rode the sled, played tag, had a snow man ball fight (you build small snow men really, really fast and then throw them at each other, and, of course, built a snow man.

While this was all going on, Ferb, decided to show off his snow skills and earned himself the name of the "Snow Subway". He was hilarious.

He would crouch down and then dive head first into the snow burrowing a tunnel for a few feet and then fly up through the surface and chase any snow balls he scattered on the way up. It was joyful to watch! Not only that but if you got his attention and threw a snowball up in the air he would go after it! I swear this cat is more dog than cat...in all the good dog ways and none of the poop on the grass ways.

Yay for snow!

SCRIPTURE TRACKER

1 Ne chp. 2 vs 10 -16

Scripture Tracker update

So....no one has called me out on my missing Scripture Tracker the past two days. What's up people?!?!?! Where's the love? Just kidding!

Actually, we've done very well and read every night since I made the goal. I just can't seem to remember to post it. Tonight's post is brought to you by the Letter S and the number 3

Wednesday Jan. 4, 2012

Scripture Tracker

1Ne. chp. 1 vs 8 - 15

Thurs. Jan. 5, 2012

Scripture Tracker

1Ne. chp. 1 vs 16- 20

Fri. Jan. 6, 2012

Scripture Tracker

1 Ne. chp. 2 vs 1-9

My favorite part about all of this, besides feeling like we are heading in the right direction is seeing how excited Sanders gets about it. He sits with his own scriptures taking his book mark in and out of his book. When it's his turn to read he usually just wants someone else to read his verse...but from HIS book.

I can already see the change in my family. I can't wait to see how far we go by the end of the year!

Reality Check

The thing about marriage is it is mostly awesome. Well, the marriage I've experienced anyway. Everyone has their own journey of course. We had to work really hard in the beginning to over come some communication habits that weren't super marriage friendly. But we worked hard, and continue to work hard, at growing closer and stronger.

Today was one of the harder days. As with most hard days in marriage it didn't really need to be and it was over things that don't really matter in the long run. Kevin and I don't dwell on the hard days. We are never frustrated with each other longer than a few hours. Today was longer than normal, but mostly because it started before Kev left for work, continued through his lunch break, but by the time he walked in the door at the end of the day both of us were SO over being angry/hurt/frustrated that is was almost like we hadn't been at odds most of the day. YAY! It's wonderful being married to someone who knows how to say He's sorry (and means it) without any prompting and accepts when you say you are sorry.

It's going to happen if you live with someone who is not an exact duplicate of you. Even then, I don't think everything would be happy all the time. Heck, I get frustrated with me every now and again.

The good thing about the hard days is that, if you learn from them and find the light, you end up leaps ahead of where you would be if you had only experienced smooth sailing. Something about opposition in all things.

So here's to the hard days!

Just not too many *wink*

It's pretty obvious, Dad!

Kevin and I were talking to Sanders about how to appropriately play with the cat. He does great most of the time...until he tries to pick him up and Ferb realizes he's just about as long as Sanders and there is no support. Then Ferb meows. Not a mean meow or even a warning, but more of a, "Come on kid...seriously. There's no why it's going to happen...so move along now."

He doesn't run away, he just kind of whines about the situation. He's a fantastic cat!

Anyway, we were asking Sanders to explain what he thinks Ferb is trying to tell him when he meows like that.

Me: "Sanders what does the cat do when you try and pick him up?"

Sanders: "Meows."

Me: "What do you think he's trying to say?"

Sanders: "Stop."

Me: "That's right!"

Kevin: "Sanders, how do you know that? Do you speak Cat?"

Sanders: "Dad, *eye roll* I no speak cat! I speak Danderd!!!" (Sanders---he says S as a D in his name)

Wordage

Over the Christmas break Beckham really, REALLY wanted to do this 1000 piece jig saw puzzle that I have no idea where we got, but at some point lived at D.I. It was a challenging puzzle with all of about 5 colors of various shades.

At one point, early on in the puzzle putting together process, Karaia sidled up to help. Kevin, half joking, asked her to find one specific piece. In about 5 seconds she was saying, "Here it is!" And thus she earned herself the nick name of Eagle Eye Karaia.

Later in the afternoon, Beckham wanting to be just like his dad, turned to his sister and called her Beetle Eyed Karaia!

*In keeping with my goals for the year, I decided I needed a daily record of the scripture reading we will be doing. So at the end of every post, if we have already read for the day, I will document what we read. That way I'll have a bit more accountability. If you don't see the scriptures, maybe you can give me a "try again tomorrow" pep talk :) *

Scripture Tracker

1 Nephi Chp. 1 vs 1 -8

Goals 2012

I've been thinking about what I would really like to focus on and accomplish this year. Of course there will be one that belongs on the list for at least another 8 years (become a fabric designer), but beyond that....what is my passion?

I found myself always returning to my family. While these may not seem as exciting as last years goals and pretty personal, success I have outside of my family life will dull if that part isn't what it needs to be. The truth is I am not the mother I want to/can be. I am too controlling, too short of patience, and all the other "too"s that don't make a very good mother, etc.  My dream family is one that has an atmosphere of peace, LOTS of laughing, and a safe place to be no matter how imperfect you are. Fortunately for me I think I have a good idea how to achieve that, but it will take a LOT of work. It's doable, but it's going to be hard. Super hard.

And so, the goals for this year include, but are not limited to

1: Reading the Book of Mormon as a family every. single.day ( I just decided this goal tonight, after I put the kids to bed so it will start tomorrow. I hesitated to make it a goal because I know just how challenging this will be for me on the days I just want the kids in bed already! Also we have no less then three major trips planned for this year and that also makes things harder. That being said, I have no doubt that this is the most necessary step to create the family I so very strongly desire.

2. Actively checking my temperature and cooling it down. Have you heard the saying , "Fake it 'til you make it?"

Source: tweakiz.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

Well, by "checking my temperature" I mean to be actively aware of my temper and acting exactly opposite of my knee jerk reactions. This is going to be the toughest. But until it because a habit to speak softly regardless of the situation I am going to be, for the lack of a better explanation, "fake soft" until it becomes second nature to react that way in the first place. No more mommy tantrums for me! Well, at least a whole lot fewer.

and then, of course

3. Secure a contract with a fabric manufacturing company. Surprisingly, this feels the least daunting to accomplish :) I sure hope it happens for me this year, but if it doesn't I have no doubt I am going to have a blast trying!!!

Dear readers, I know there are a bunch of you that read and never comment (HI!) I am going to need a LOT of encouragement this year. I've set the bar high for myself and whenever you aim high you are going to fall hard a few times. Any pats on the back, smiles, gems of wisdom without judgment you feel inspired to share will be loved and cherished!!!

Here's to a GREAT year!!

Can't do it

I can't not blog. It feels too weird.

I'm playing with my cousins, The Four Musketeers, for our annual New Year's Day get together.

We always have a good time. For example there may or may not have been grape juice coming out a nose....not mine, thank goodness....I mean....if it were to have happened that is.

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