Sunday, May 12, 2013

Motherhood musings

I was all over the map today with my emotions.

Mother's Day brings the expectation that because our children love us they will be on their best behaviors and exhibit every good thing we have strived and prayed to teach them.

And then, because they love us, they feel safe to show us the parts of themselves that aren't pleasant or pretty because they know, because we have taught them, that no matter what, they will always be loved by us.

And that is a truth that is our eternal motherhood quest to maintain. That they are good even when they make choices contrary to what we have taught. That they are children of God and are therefor so full of light that they have to work hard to dim it. We, their mothers, always see that light and feel frustrated that they sometimes chose to ignore it's potential, it's power. That's  where the impatience can come in.

I bounced back and forth between feeling so disappointed and hurt, because it was my day (yes, a selfish way of thinking---working on it), over children's choices and feeling so grateful and loved that they trusted me enough to show me their challenging sides.

The talks in church were incredible and I found myself reflecting on what I want my children to remember about me as their mother. What my Heavenly Father wants me to teach them. I felt so much gratitude for the women in my ward. Such incredible examples of imperfect women being perfect in motherhood because they continue to try. They continue to seek the Lord's guidance. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by such women.

The rest of the day turned out wonderfully. The kids played nicely, I got a great nap in, Kevin and the kids gave me a new crock pot I'd been wanting, the cards the kids made were hilarious and thoughtful, Kevin was wonderful in making me feel loved, and I got to see my mom and thank her for all she does for us.

I hope today reminded you that motherhood is not a perfect process, but it is a means of reaching perfection.

Happy Mother's Day.


April Weeks said...

Well said sweetheart. We only fail if we fail to try. Your patriarical blessing said you will have very special children and you are the right person to raise those children and perfection will never come in this life. It is a product of the atonement and will be applied at the resurrection. All we have to do is be fatihful, which you are. Thanks for making me a mother. I love you to bits!

Brianna said...

I too had similar discouraging feelings while dealing with one of my children yesterday. You put my thoughts into words perfectly. Happy Mother's Day to one of the BEST mothers I know... your ability to recognize your's and your children's imperfections makes you that way.