I was all over the map today with my emotions.
Mother's Day brings the expectation that because our children love us they will be on their best behaviors and exhibit every good thing we have strived and prayed to teach them.
And then, because they love us, they feel safe to show us the parts of themselves that aren't pleasant or pretty because they know, because we have taught them, that no matter what, they will always be loved by us.
And that is a truth that is our eternal motherhood quest to maintain. That they are good even when they make choices contrary to what we have taught. That they are children of God and are therefor so full of light that they have to work hard to dim it. We, their mothers, always see that light and feel frustrated that they sometimes chose to ignore it's potential, it's power. That's where the impatience can come in.
I bounced back and forth between feeling so disappointed and hurt, because it was my day (yes, a selfish way of thinking---working on it), over children's choices and feeling so grateful and loved that they trusted me enough to show me their challenging sides.
The talks in church were incredible and I found myself reflecting on what I want my children to remember about me as their mother. What my Heavenly Father wants me to teach them. I felt so much gratitude for the women in my ward. Such incredible examples of imperfect women being perfect in motherhood because they continue to try. They continue to seek the Lord's guidance. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by such women.
The rest of the day turned out wonderfully. The kids played nicely, I got a great nap in, Kevin and the kids gave me a new crock pot I'd been wanting, the cards the kids made were hilarious and thoughtful, Kevin was wonderful in making me feel loved, and I got to see my mom and thank her for all she does for us.
I hope today reminded you that motherhood is not a perfect process, but it is a means of reaching perfection.
Happy Mother's Day.