After the movie on Tuesday, I turned to tell Tennyson to keep up only to find that he was LICKING the back of the theater seats as he made his way to the isle. You know, just like when you run your hand across a fence as you walk? Like that, but with his tongue and on nasty, germ filled theater seats.
GROSS!!!!!!!
It's amazing he's not hospitalized.
Seriously.
Showing posts with label all things gross and unthinkable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label all things gross and unthinkable. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
A little about me
This post was originally going to be about being a prepared dreamer. About doing everything within my power to give myself any chance at success. But as I thought about it and started formulating my sentences I realized, I did not want to hear it tonight. Which means you are probably even more sick of it. Can Market just get here already?
I'm just tired of feeling SO hopeful one day and then going all bi-polar and stressing out that there is more that I could be doing and maybe I haven't done enough...yada, yada, yada.
I'm not saying I'm done with those kinds of posts, but tonight, they just feel anti-productive and I am in no mood to be brought down.
So tonight, I swiped something from my cousin's blog. Enjoy
Making : A third colorway
Cooking : ideas
Drinking : water
Reading: Pride and Prejudice
Wanting: a contract
Looking: forward to Market
Playing: basket ball with Tennyson and Sanders
Wasting: time worrying
Sewing: a nursing cover
Wishing: I could see into the future
Enjoying: having an unforeseen future
Waiting: for a design to load
Liking: the patience I had today
Wondering: if all my children will ever be fully potty trained
Loving: that I have the option of dreaming big
Hoping: I can get everything done in time
Marveling: How Tennyson managed to get poop on the floor of four rooms (Don't ask. I'm trying to forget)
Needing: some faith that thing will turn out in the best way...not matter what that way is
Smelling: nothing.....thank goodness it's NOT poop
Wearing: black lounge pants
Following: my gut
Noticing: That Sanders is growing up fast
Knowing: my kids are wonderful
Thinking: I need to remember that I know that more often
Bookmarking: family home evening ideas
Opening: my heart
Giggling: that Tennyson got poop in four rooms today....it's funny now. You should have seen him try and clean it up....priceless. Disgusting, but priceless.
Feeling: drained.....you shouldn't be surprised. I cleaned up poop in FOUR rooms today
I'm just tired of feeling SO hopeful one day and then going all bi-polar and stressing out that there is more that I could be doing and maybe I haven't done enough...yada, yada, yada.
I'm not saying I'm done with those kinds of posts, but tonight, they just feel anti-productive and I am in no mood to be brought down.
So tonight, I swiped something from my cousin's blog. Enjoy
Making : A third colorway
Cooking : ideas
Drinking : water
Reading: Pride and Prejudice
Wanting: a contract
Looking: forward to Market
Playing: basket ball with Tennyson and Sanders
Wasting: time worrying
Sewing: a nursing cover
Wishing: I could see into the future
Enjoying: having an unforeseen future
Waiting: for a design to load
Liking: the patience I had today
Wondering: if all my children will ever be fully potty trained
Loving: that I have the option of dreaming big
Hoping: I can get everything done in time
Marveling: How Tennyson managed to get poop on the floor of four rooms (Don't ask. I'm trying to forget)
Needing: some faith that thing will turn out in the best way...not matter what that way is
Smelling: nothing.....thank goodness it's NOT poop
Wearing: black lounge pants
Following: my gut
Noticing: That Sanders is growing up fast
Knowing: my kids are wonderful
Thinking: I need to remember that I know that more often
Bookmarking: family home evening ideas
Opening: my heart
Giggling: that Tennyson got poop in four rooms today....it's funny now. You should have seen him try and clean it up....priceless. Disgusting, but priceless.
Feeling: drained.....you shouldn't be surprised. I cleaned up poop in FOUR rooms today
Monday, August 17, 2009
And then there was one.....
.......actually, there were three left over, but we are counting our blessings that the littlest two were not numbered among the troops.
To fully appreciate what I mean we need to start before the beginning. Stay with me now. I promise it will make sense.
Kevin had been gone all week in Texas for work. The kids and I were surviving but anxious to have him come on Friday, August 7 because that's when our family vacation to Bear Lake was scheduled to start.
In the Early hours on Friday, 1 AM to be exact, Karaia woke up with a stomach ache which promptly turned into a stomach that felt just fine considering she had thrown-up all over the carpet. Sigh.
For the next five hours the poor thing battled nausea, diarrhea, and thirst. Finally around 6 am she felt fine enough to sleep. I, however, was not allowed that luxury. The second Karaia's eyes closed Tennyson's and Sanders' eyes opened. The day had began. Sleep or no sleep, it was time to be a mom for the day.
I kept a close eye on Karaia the rest of the day. After all, today was Friday. Kevin was coming home, we were supposed to head up to the Lake today, AND if anyone needed a vacation I did! Two hours before Kevin's flight landed I made the decision that Karaia was on the mend and could indeed make the trip. That was the decision of all decisions.......
Karaia was fine, tired, but fine. Everyone else was fine, tired, but fine. Shortly after Kevin returned home from his two weeks away on business (with a short trip home during the weekend) we packed up the van anxious to reconnect as a family and relax.
Saturday proved to be too cold to go out boating or even outside. All of the Daly side was able to come. So the 17 of us stayed inside enjoying each others company and the beauty of our surrounding from the cozy warm couches.
By Saturday night everyone was not fine. Beckham and Tennyson had started throwing up. Kevin and I spent much of the night helping them through the worst of it and trying to explain to Tennyson why he couldn't have a drink.
Sunday came. Beckham was better. Tennyson was still throwing up now and then.
Sunday night came. Tennyson had stopped throwing up but was very tired. Beckham was fine and eating rice crispy treats. We felt that everyone was OK enough for family pictures. We completely captured Tennyson's mood. Priceless.
Monday brought the first good weather. Most of the family headed down for the beach, boating, and sunbathing. I stayed behind with Mr. T who still seemed to be struggling to get over the illness. By the afternoon he had perked up enough and I thought a day in the sand was just what he need to get the rest of the way there.
Kevin and I were in charge of dinner Monday night and everything was cooking slower than planned. Meanwhile, the boat had decided to come home because, that's right, Belle had thrown-up. Shortly followed by McKinley.
I was overwhelmed by guilt. What had I done! I had no idea we had brought a bug with us!
Then I heard it. A sound I had grown to, unfortunately, know well. But where was it coming from? The basement? Upstairs? OH no! BOTH!
People started throwing- up at the same. exact. time. From that point the troops started dropping like flies. Within a half hour of everyone being home we had 7, count them, SEVEN people throwing-up. Those of us that remained, Me, Greg, Landon, Candace, and Jim (not counting the babies Sanders, and Aliyah thank goodness!) moved into hyper mode. First, I had a little melt down because I felt SO horrible at what we had caused. I had no way of knowing but seriously, seven out of seventeen people. Put yourself in my shoes. It was awful. The rest of the night was spent running up and down the three levels, cleaning bathrooms, and emptying bowls.
The one tender spot of this experience was being surrounded by the power of the priesthood. I was humbled and grateful for such wonderful men in my and my children's lives. The first blessings came when Beckham and Tennyson where sick. Monday night, nearly everyone received a blessing. There is no way to deny the truthfulness of the Gospel when you are in the room for 9 blessings withing two days. It was a very sacred experience for me.
Tuesday morning brought with it health for most. Everyone felt better, but tired. My kids were feeling MUCH better and had way, WAY, too much energy for all of the newly recovered. Time to head to the beach.
We had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect, the water was not too cold, and the kids loved every second of it. Just what we needed.
Everyone had a lot more energy upon our return home and we settled in for an uneventful night.
10:30 pm rolled around and I knew my night would be less than boring. I felt it coming. After 4 nights of taking care of people, and little sleep, my body could no longer fight off whatever it was we were fighting. Once again, a sleepless night.
Wednesday everyone but me was feeling great and, once again, headed for the beach and boating while I tried to rejoin the land of the living.
Thursday it was time to clean up and go home. But we weren't done yet. Candace woke up that morning and threw-up.
Thus bringing the total to 14 out of the 17 people in our family experiencing a painful, yet memorable, family vacation.
The whole seven days I was there I never got to set foot in the boat. There just wasn't any time.
It is funny now, sort of.
At least we will always remember, "that one time at Bear Lake when everyone......"
I think I would be OK if this is the ONLY memory like that.
To fully appreciate what I mean we need to start before the beginning. Stay with me now. I promise it will make sense.
Kevin had been gone all week in Texas for work. The kids and I were surviving but anxious to have him come on Friday, August 7 because that's when our family vacation to Bear Lake was scheduled to start.
In the Early hours on Friday, 1 AM to be exact, Karaia woke up with a stomach ache which promptly turned into a stomach that felt just fine considering she had thrown-up all over the carpet. Sigh.
For the next five hours the poor thing battled nausea, diarrhea, and thirst. Finally around 6 am she felt fine enough to sleep. I, however, was not allowed that luxury. The second Karaia's eyes closed Tennyson's and Sanders' eyes opened. The day had began. Sleep or no sleep, it was time to be a mom for the day.
I kept a close eye on Karaia the rest of the day. After all, today was Friday. Kevin was coming home, we were supposed to head up to the Lake today, AND if anyone needed a vacation I did! Two hours before Kevin's flight landed I made the decision that Karaia was on the mend and could indeed make the trip. That was the decision of all decisions.......
Karaia was fine, tired, but fine. Everyone else was fine, tired, but fine. Shortly after Kevin returned home from his two weeks away on business (with a short trip home during the weekend) we packed up the van anxious to reconnect as a family and relax.
Saturday proved to be too cold to go out boating or even outside. All of the Daly side was able to come. So the 17 of us stayed inside enjoying each others company and the beauty of our surrounding from the cozy warm couches.
By Saturday night everyone was not fine. Beckham and Tennyson had started throwing up. Kevin and I spent much of the night helping them through the worst of it and trying to explain to Tennyson why he couldn't have a drink.
Sunday came. Beckham was better. Tennyson was still throwing up now and then.
Sunday night came. Tennyson had stopped throwing up but was very tired. Beckham was fine and eating rice crispy treats. We felt that everyone was OK enough for family pictures. We completely captured Tennyson's mood. Priceless.
Monday brought the first good weather. Most of the family headed down for the beach, boating, and sunbathing. I stayed behind with Mr. T who still seemed to be struggling to get over the illness. By the afternoon he had perked up enough and I thought a day in the sand was just what he need to get the rest of the way there.
Kevin and I were in charge of dinner Monday night and everything was cooking slower than planned. Meanwhile, the boat had decided to come home because, that's right, Belle had thrown-up. Shortly followed by McKinley.
I was overwhelmed by guilt. What had I done! I had no idea we had brought a bug with us!
Then I heard it. A sound I had grown to, unfortunately, know well. But where was it coming from? The basement? Upstairs? OH no! BOTH!
People started throwing- up at the same. exact. time. From that point the troops started dropping like flies. Within a half hour of everyone being home we had 7, count them, SEVEN people throwing-up. Those of us that remained, Me, Greg, Landon, Candace, and Jim (not counting the babies Sanders, and Aliyah thank goodness!) moved into hyper mode. First, I had a little melt down because I felt SO horrible at what we had caused. I had no way of knowing but seriously, seven out of seventeen people. Put yourself in my shoes. It was awful. The rest of the night was spent running up and down the three levels, cleaning bathrooms, and emptying bowls.
The one tender spot of this experience was being surrounded by the power of the priesthood. I was humbled and grateful for such wonderful men in my and my children's lives. The first blessings came when Beckham and Tennyson where sick. Monday night, nearly everyone received a blessing. There is no way to deny the truthfulness of the Gospel when you are in the room for 9 blessings withing two days. It was a very sacred experience for me.
Tuesday morning brought with it health for most. Everyone felt better, but tired. My kids were feeling MUCH better and had way, WAY, too much energy for all of the newly recovered. Time to head to the beach.
We had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect, the water was not too cold, and the kids loved every second of it. Just what we needed.
Everyone had a lot more energy upon our return home and we settled in for an uneventful night.
10:30 pm rolled around and I knew my night would be less than boring. I felt it coming. After 4 nights of taking care of people, and little sleep, my body could no longer fight off whatever it was we were fighting. Once again, a sleepless night.
Wednesday everyone but me was feeling great and, once again, headed for the beach and boating while I tried to rejoin the land of the living.
Thursday it was time to clean up and go home. But we weren't done yet. Candace woke up that morning and threw-up.
Thus bringing the total to 14 out of the 17 people in our family experiencing a painful, yet memorable, family vacation.
The whole seven days I was there I never got to set foot in the boat. There just wasn't any time.
It is funny now, sort of.
At least we will always remember, "that one time at Bear Lake when everyone......"
I think I would be OK if this is the ONLY memory like that.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Fluid and physics
Lets discuss physics and it's relation to bodily fluid.
If you are squeamish about either subject I suggest you find another blog to peruse today. But, you will miss a tale that is bound to bring a spark of hilarity to any dull dinner party you may attend.
You have been warned and counseled, now do as you wish.
First fluid. When a women gets the stage of pregnancy that I am at, it's all about the fluids. For today's discussion we will be mainly focusing on the urine variety. It is required upon all doctor visits for said women (Me) to give a sample of said fluid. While unpleasant earlier in pregnancy it is possible to aim and shoot into the cup, so to speak, and keep things relatively tidy.
This now brings us to physics. Fast forward to the same women, but make her 9 months pregnant. She hasn't seen her feet for awhile and yet they still are asking her to collect her fluid. It has now become a physical inability to do so. The line of vision is being cut off by her over-size basketball shaped belly. Her only hope is to hold the container in the general area of the fluid and hope that she gets lucky.
The usual result is that the fluid coats everything in that general area. You get the picture.
That was the same result I experienced today. Although I must add that I had gathered quite a large sample and was proud of my efforts despite the untidy method. And being the kind, thoughtful patient that I am I always try and wipe the container off before I put it in the little door for the nurses to test it so they are not totally grossed out by their job.
As I was being my thoughtful self the cup slipped, hit the edge of the sink, and emptied itself, almost entirely, on my white clothed protruding belly before it found its way to the floor decorating it as only a disturbed abstract artist could appreciate.
At first, I was upset. I had worked hard for that collection! It's not an easy thing to do to try and defy the laws of physics and yet I had succeed and had done well.
Then I looked in the mirror. I had managed to pee all over my belly.....above the belly button line. No other body parts came in contact. Just the belly, now stained yellow orange on my white shirt. I realized that was talent and burst out laughing. How could you not? Seriously. Pregnancy is so glamous any way why not accessorize.
I laughed as I mopped up the would be art project off the floor.
I laughed as I drenched my shirt trying to AT LEAST take the yellow hue out of it. Upon doing so I was reminded of the magical properties of a white shirt. When it gets wet it becomes transparent.
I then picked up the cup. Hooray! There were still 5 drops remaining! I proudly put those drops in the door, glanced at the now overly visible belly and walked outside to give the nurses something to laugh about for the rest of the day.
And laugh they did.
If you are squeamish about either subject I suggest you find another blog to peruse today. But, you will miss a tale that is bound to bring a spark of hilarity to any dull dinner party you may attend.
You have been warned and counseled, now do as you wish.
First fluid. When a women gets the stage of pregnancy that I am at, it's all about the fluids. For today's discussion we will be mainly focusing on the urine variety. It is required upon all doctor visits for said women (Me) to give a sample of said fluid. While unpleasant earlier in pregnancy it is possible to aim and shoot into the cup, so to speak, and keep things relatively tidy.
This now brings us to physics. Fast forward to the same women, but make her 9 months pregnant. She hasn't seen her feet for awhile and yet they still are asking her to collect her fluid. It has now become a physical inability to do so. The line of vision is being cut off by her over-size basketball shaped belly. Her only hope is to hold the container in the general area of the fluid and hope that she gets lucky.
The usual result is that the fluid coats everything in that general area. You get the picture.
That was the same result I experienced today. Although I must add that I had gathered quite a large sample and was proud of my efforts despite the untidy method. And being the kind, thoughtful patient that I am I always try and wipe the container off before I put it in the little door for the nurses to test it so they are not totally grossed out by their job.
As I was being my thoughtful self the cup slipped, hit the edge of the sink, and emptied itself, almost entirely, on my white clothed protruding belly before it found its way to the floor decorating it as only a disturbed abstract artist could appreciate.
At first, I was upset. I had worked hard for that collection! It's not an easy thing to do to try and defy the laws of physics and yet I had succeed and had done well.
Then I looked in the mirror. I had managed to pee all over my belly.....above the belly button line. No other body parts came in contact. Just the belly, now stained yellow orange on my white shirt. I realized that was talent and burst out laughing. How could you not? Seriously. Pregnancy is so glamous any way why not accessorize.
I laughed as I mopped up the would be art project off the floor.
I laughed as I drenched my shirt trying to AT LEAST take the yellow hue out of it. Upon doing so I was reminded of the magical properties of a white shirt. When it gets wet it becomes transparent.
I then picked up the cup. Hooray! There were still 5 drops remaining! I proudly put those drops in the door, glanced at the now overly visible belly and walked outside to give the nurses something to laugh about for the rest of the day.
And laugh they did.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Smart? ***Update at the bottom***
It's 8:10 pm.
Where are my husband and oldest son?
Headed to the Insta-care.
Why?
Because Beckham swallowed a dvd remote battery....yesterday....that he just told me about.
Why was it in his mouth?
That's what I asked too.
"Because I wanted to check to see if it was still good."
I thought people could "check" that by pressing a few buttons and seeing if they made the dvd player, oh I don't know, DO something. Apparently I'm up in the night. Because OBVIOUSLY the proper way to check a battery is to place it in your mouth.
When I told the poison control lady that he had put it in his mouth to "check" it's power level she said, "He's only 4?! Wow. That's pretty smart to know you can check a battery like that."
Hmmmm.....I hadn't thought to label his action as...smart.
Let's just hope the nickel sized battery isn't lodged anywhere.
Smart. Huh. Yeah, I'm still not buying it.
*****************************************
UPDATE:
They returned home 40 minutes after they left!
Fastest. Insta-Care. Ever.
They found the battery right away. It's the next thing to come out.
He was cracking up the Dr and Nurse the whole time he was there:
"My mom says batteries are poisonous."
"They are. She's right"
"Oh. My mom says not to put batteries in my mouth anymore."
"That's a good idea. Your mom is pretty smart."
So the next time you see Beckham ask him about his x-ray. Then sit back and prepare for a 15 minute edge-of-your-seat-roll-on-the-floor-laughing story.
Where are my husband and oldest son?
Headed to the Insta-care.
Why?
Because Beckham swallowed a dvd remote battery....yesterday....that he just told me about.
Why was it in his mouth?
That's what I asked too.
"Because I wanted to check to see if it was still good."
I thought people could "check" that by pressing a few buttons and seeing if they made the dvd player, oh I don't know, DO something. Apparently I'm up in the night. Because OBVIOUSLY the proper way to check a battery is to place it in your mouth.
When I told the poison control lady that he had put it in his mouth to "check" it's power level she said, "He's only 4?! Wow. That's pretty smart to know you can check a battery like that."
Hmmmm.....I hadn't thought to label his action as...smart.
Let's just hope the nickel sized battery isn't lodged anywhere.
Smart. Huh. Yeah, I'm still not buying it.
*****************************************
UPDATE:
They returned home 40 minutes after they left!
Fastest. Insta-Care. Ever.
They found the battery right away. It's the next thing to come out.
He was cracking up the Dr and Nurse the whole time he was there:
"My mom says batteries are poisonous."
"They are. She's right"
"Oh. My mom says not to put batteries in my mouth anymore."
"That's a good idea. Your mom is pretty smart."
So the next time you see Beckham ask him about his x-ray. Then sit back and prepare for a 15 minute edge-of-your-seat-roll-on-the-floor-laughing story.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Mom I e sree
It is just after 10am and already the events of the morning make me want to sell some of my children and go back to bed for a day.
Karaia has been sent to her room multiple times already. Mostly for choosing not do what I've asked her resulting in many askings on my part. Finally at 9:30 I think we've conquered the growth adjustment for the day. She tells me she is hungry for breakfast now. I tell her, "Great. Go choose what you would like and I'll be right back." I head off to the bathroom.
Karaia has finished choosing her meal and is occupying her time until I am available by playing the piano. Meanwhile, I have flushed.......OH NO!!!! The HORROR!!!!!!! Some previous user ( I suspect a male older than 3) had failed to ensure everything went down as it should resulting in a back up. YUCK. GAG. Human waste everywhere!!! Then I hear the scream.
Beckham wanted to cultivate his musical talent as well and tried to push his way onto the piano. Karaia decided that physical prowess was the best method of deterring said pesky brother from ruining her working master piece.
I'm ankle high in watered down feces when the fight breaks out. All I can do is tell them to go in their rooms. Yet again, because I am so dirty (gag) I don't even want to be me (shudder) at the moment.
Fast forward a half hour later. Karaia came up and handed me a paper that looks like this:
MOM I E SREE FK THE KQUA FQOO A BPR
"Read it, Mom."
"Mom, I e ..... Can you help me?
"Mom, I am sorry for the consequences. Um..... I don't know what the rest of the words mean. See I sounded out Sorry. S-R-E-E. I'm sorry, Mom."
We hugged. And said our I love yous. I'm pretty proud of her for trying make amends. Lets hope things remain on this path and all yuckiness, spiritual and other wise, remain out of sight and off my person. I must go take another shower now. GAG.
Karaia has been sent to her room multiple times already. Mostly for choosing not do what I've asked her resulting in many askings on my part. Finally at 9:30 I think we've conquered the growth adjustment for the day. She tells me she is hungry for breakfast now. I tell her, "Great. Go choose what you would like and I'll be right back." I head off to the bathroom.
Karaia has finished choosing her meal and is occupying her time until I am available by playing the piano. Meanwhile, I have flushed.......OH NO!!!! The HORROR!!!!!!! Some previous user ( I suspect a male older than 3) had failed to ensure everything went down as it should resulting in a back up. YUCK. GAG. Human waste everywhere!!! Then I hear the scream.
Beckham wanted to cultivate his musical talent as well and tried to push his way onto the piano. Karaia decided that physical prowess was the best method of deterring said pesky brother from ruining her working master piece.
I'm ankle high in watered down feces when the fight breaks out. All I can do is tell them to go in their rooms. Yet again, because I am so dirty (gag) I don't even want to be me (shudder) at the moment.
Fast forward a half hour later. Karaia came up and handed me a paper that looks like this:
MOM I E SREE FK THE KQUA FQOO A BPR
"Read it, Mom."
"Mom, I e ..... Can you help me?
"Mom, I am sorry for the consequences. Um..... I don't know what the rest of the words mean. See I sounded out Sorry. S-R-E-E. I'm sorry, Mom."
We hugged. And said our I love yous. I'm pretty proud of her for trying make amends. Lets hope things remain on this path and all yuckiness, spiritual and other wise, remain out of sight and off my person. I must go take another shower now. GAG.
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