Thursday, January 28, 2010

More whinning

Yup, I'm still whining about things today.

I think it's completely normal. Of course too many days of it in a row and people stop hanging out with you. But one or two make for some very needed introspection usually followed by personal pep talks.

So today's whine is brought to you by the letter not for that, but for fabric.

I went to my favorite little quilt shop. The place I go when I am feel creatively stuck or drained. Before today I've always walked away from there with a renewed sense of determination and inspiration.

It was different today. I walked around looking at all that lovely fabric and nothing spoke to me. Unless you've actually had fabric speak to you, you will more than likely decided right now to stop hanging out with me because obviously I have gone crazy. As I walked around the shop I just kept thinking about how my designs, the designs that could right now be in the hands of the ones who decide if they live or die, are nothing like any of those.

I'm not looking for coddling. I decided a long time ago this blog was for my feelings and perspectives. So that I could remember how I got where I am. Also, when my children are grown and going through their own trials I want them to be able to have something they can turn to and say, "See, mom felt sad, anxious, worried, etc. sometimes too."

While I don't want, nor do I think I have, this as a overall theme of my life, these feelings are human and should be dealt with not squashed and hidden as if it were wrong to feel them. They just shouldn't be dwelt on and made to, or let, take over one's existence.

And so today I am feeling anxious and untalented, unmotivated and stuck.

I feel more hopeful already just getting those feelings out in the open where I can stare them down and challenge them. In an hour I may wonder why I was feeling those things at all.

Someday this may all make a lovely Lifetime Story.........


Colle said...

So i have two things.
1) I love your blog posts. You write just like I was having a conversation with you. Love that!
2) In you last post you mentioned you figured out a laundry system. I was wondering if you could share that with me. I have tried several different things and I feel I just cant get a good hold of the laundry situation.

Lawson Family said...

Ahh, you just need a little squeeze! It kind of is refreshing to not feel happy, energetic, and blahish once in a while. So when you turn the corner, you will appreciate those positive feelings all the more. Turn on your Rascal Flatts and call me in the morning! ;0)

Brianna said...

I'd watch your story on Lifetime. :)

P.S.- I rely so heavily on your creative talent, that as soon as I find out what gender my friend is having I'd like you to make me a carseat cover to give her like you did for Annie... oh, and I'll pay for it. :) See, that has to boost your spirits. ;)