Filtered

Posting has felt more chore-like than documentary lately.

So much on my mind, but none of it suited to be shared. As open as I am, there are thoughts and feelings, that are usually fleeting, that don't or shouldn't be documented. It's weird for me to be semi filtered.

I'm also under a lot of deadlines. I react one of two ways with an oncoming deadline. I either speed my little hiney up and get 'er done or I do everything possible except the things that would be helpful in meeting my deadline and then scramble around like a crazy girl trying to stuff too many things in too few of hours.

The thing is, everything I'm doing I want to do. I asked to do. So, then I get to this blog at the end of the night and feel completely ungrateful for even thinking about mentioning that I feel stressed and overwhelmed and completely out of my league. And I'm just talking about the mountain of laundry I have to fold, not to mention my design/sewing/pr/mom/t.v.slot/YW etiquette dinner/expo/PYP stuff on my list to do.

See what I mean. I am so blessed. You can't complain about your blessings. That's just lame.

At the same time I kind of feel like I 'm paying attention to everything but not enough attention to anything.

Still. The Lord told me to go this way. He must have known what a terrible procrastinator and time management-er I am. I'm sure there is a way to grow and learn to make these weaknesses my strengths.

Gotta keep reaching and growing and remembering that tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I can be perfect in those areas.

I've done hard things before. I can do this too!

Here's a picture of Kevin and I. He's a good man who supports me endlessly. Regardless of whether or not I'm complaining about my blessings ;)

Enlightenment

Time Out For Women was perfect for me. There were a few talks that spoke right to me, but mostly I had ideas pop into my head that had nothing to do with the topic of the speaker and everything to do with a question I had been pondering.

I think I will break up all I learned into a few posts. I wish I was able to truly convey all I feel I've learned, but, well really it comes down to me being unwilling to take the time. The time to really write down what I learned would equate to a book...literally and right now I'm going to focus on one big project at a time. I'm hoping that as time goes on each of these areas will be interwoven so much in my life that I will in essence share little by little just how much I learned.

One of the favorite things said during the weekend was said by Brad Wilcox, "God's delays are NOT denials. " I'm sure you can guess why this would strike a chord with me.

Even though I knew this principle before it is so comforting to hear it again and be reminded of it's truthfulness. God's reasons for delays may never be known, but that's not the point. The point is what we do during the delay. We need to continue to work and study and most importantly have faith.

Hilary Weeks shared a little project she started early this year that I will be incorporating into my life. She said that every morning, during her prayers, she asks Heavenly Father what the MOST important thing was to accomplish that day. Often it was something simple, an email, a note, etc. but time and time again she noticed the small things making the biggest difference.

That alone will completely change my self focused tendencies to an outward searching to help. Only good can come of it.

OK, tomorrow I will focus on the things that I felt inspired to implement into my children's lives.