100 Things About Me (Random bits of information that you don't really need to know !)

1.

2. This feels like the last one for us
3. That is a very freeing feeling
4. I was born in Canada
5. I have dual citizenship
6. I played rugby in College
7. In college I ran 4 miles every day
8. I missed the rules on how to play rugby because I was...um....getting better "acquainted" with someone
9. I have a degree in psychology
10. I teach my kids sign language
11. I want to go back to school to learn Sign
12. And interior decorating
13. Someday I'd like to be a doula
14. I've never had an epidural
15. I'm very loud the last 10 minutes of labor
16. I fell in love with Kevin because he is funny
17. I do not enjoy housework
18. I LOVE gardening
19. My middle toes on both feet are crooked
20. I look up to a lot of people ( and no, I don't mean because I am short)
21. I'm training for a triathlon
22. I'm terrified of the swimming part
23. I am looking forward to when the triathlon is over
24. I am not very organized
25. I adore when my house miraculously becomes organized because someone helped me
26. I'm an artist
27. I don't do it enough
28. I love being creative
29. I've recently discovered that I enjoy writing
30. Thought about writing a book
31. My 5 year old is an engineer
32. My 3 year old is a comedian
33. My 1 year old is LOUD
34. It bugs me when people get annoyed by kids being kids (especially if they're mine)
35. I like family gatherings
36. We will have a birthday to celebrate every three months when the baby comes
37. I love Disneyland
38. Sometimes I cry when I talk about it
39. I only cry about it when I'm pregnant
40. Don't ask me to talk about Disneyland for a few months
41. My Dad is a convert to the Church
42. I love girls camp
43. Being a leader at girls camp is almost more fun
44. I do not like heights
45. I like to be helpful
46. If it's important to me, I'm going to talk to you about it
47. I am pretty open
48. I like reading to my kids
49. I like playing games with them too
50. I love colors
51. I dream about remodeling
52. I am a night owl
55. Mornings are not my friend
56. I really don't like grocery shopping
57. I prefer a light breakfast
58. I've apologized to someone for having mean thoughts about them
59. I no longer have mean thoughts about them
60. Kevin has been my best friend for 11 years
61. I met Kevin when he was on a date with my cousin
62. My cousin is very happy for us
63. I am very irresponsible with my time if I have a good book to read
64. I love rainy days
65. I love a good bargain
66. I enjoy painting a room
67. I don't enjoy the prep work
66. My favorite shows are on HGTV and The Food Network
67. I missed the finale to The Next Food Network star
68. Honestly, I was a little bit bummed by that
69. Don't worry, The Next Design Star Finale is this Sunday
70. I won't answer the phone if you call during the show
71. I have 3 cousins born the same year as me
77. We're called the 4 musketeers
78. We have a "reunion" on Jan 1st every year
79. My 10 year high school reunion is in a few weeks
80. I keep having dreams about people from High school that I haven't thought about for 10 years
81. I love the movie High School Musical 2
82. I get many answers to my prayers through my dreams
83. I LOVE a good, deep, conversation
84. I enjoy listening to people
85. I'm a people watcher
86. I notice people's eyes first
87. Then their clothes
88. Then hair
89. I spray painted a car camouflage on a date in high school
90. Most of my favorite friends are years older than me
91. My best girl friend is younger than me
92. I think it would be amazing to be a gourmet chef
93. I enjoy trying uncommon food
94. I'm not a very big steak fan
95. I really like fry sauce
96. I will eat WAY more than is necessary if I have something to dip it in
97. I like how eating healthy makes me feel
98. I don't like how expensive eating healthy is
99. I am not photogenic
100. I enjoying finding the perfect gift

The young and the restless

That is the title of my life every Sunday.

It's as if my children are incapable of being reverent. Although, I'm sure most of it has to do with Sacrament meeting being last. Beckham told me this morning as we were getting ready that, "Church takes SOOOO long. After we have primary, Sacrament meeting is too long!!" I asked him if he thought his classes where long. He told me, "No. Just Sacrament meeting." I couldn't argue.

Now, I really enjoy church....or I remember enjoying it the last time I got to listen.......

But after two full hours of keeping a very loud one year old semi-occupied, because all he really wants to do is go and pull the table cloth off the table during RS or climb up the teachers leg during Sunday School (which of course I don't let him---resulting in ear drum shattering screeches), it's seems a near impossible task to maintain the attentions of two more children, for yet ANOTHER hour. Especially when they have already been reverent (I'm assuming) for two hours. It's in that third hour that they morph into animal like primates.

They can't seem to find the front of the chapel or the bottom of their rear ends. Wiggle, squirm, stare at the person behind you, flop to the floor as if you no longer have bones, whine, wiggle, talk very loudly to make sure everyone can hear, squirm, lament how you are going to die because you are soooo hungry!, Oh and tired!, pull someones hair, blow spit bubbles, whine, squirm..........

This was all before the sacrament was passed around too!

Kevin is gone for a week. He left this morning. So I didn't have a team member to battle the boredom. PLUS, I can't be a hall monitor with Tennyson, which really is the calling of all parents of children ages 1 to 18 months, because I can't leave the other two alone.....I can only imagine coming in to find them literally swinging off the ceiling lights, just to let off some pent up energy. In short, we left after the sacrament.

Which is really a shame because there was a homecoming and a farewell in my ward. AND I finally received a calling as the RS secretary after having been in our home for almost a year. I should have stayed and been set apart but I sure everyone involved appreciates me not bringing stir crazed little people among those who actually got to listen and still have a peaceful spirit in the hearts. Pretty sure we would have sent that feeling home.

Instead, I sent us home. I think it's for the better this time......

Spreading the Word

I post, often, on a message board that I got involved with when I was pregnant with Tennyson. There are about 500 members, all women, and from all walks of life.

It's pretty much like having instant access to just about any survey I want. I can ask a question there, like, "How can I get the kids to come INSIDE to go to the bathroom during the summer?" and I get 30 + responses from those who have already passed that stage in life to those who are in the same dilemma. It's fantastic.

Anyway, someone from the board read this article. She is not of the LDS faith (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) but she knew there were some of us that posted on the board. So she started asking our opinions about the article.

Then someone else had more questions and it snowballed. I spent the better part of my day, on and off because I do have children I must pay attention to at some point, talking about my beliefs and learning about what others believed. It was amazing.

How refreshing to have the topics of the Gospel swimming around your head for an entire day. And you know the saying, you learn more when you teach? I learned I could discuss what are considered "weird" topics (like us becoming gods and governing our own planet--I don't even know where they heard about that, but they wanted to talk about it.) and do it without apology or defensiveness.

We talked about the Plan of Salvation. I even posted a chart. That's right, I had my own little family night with 500 women in the middle of the afternoon. Doesn't get any better.

I was so grateful I knew the answers and if I didn't right off I knew where to find them. But I mostly knew them. I was grateful I was prepared. I was grateful to feel the Holy Ghost guiding my word choice. I was grateful the conversation was very friendly but very open and honest.

I learned we live similarly to a few other religions. Of course there are differences, but I'm not sure I knew that others were also living the word of wisdom, they just don't call it that.

I learned that music is a BIG deciding factor for a lot of people when they are looking for a new church. If the choir isn't good, they keep searching. Makes being in our choir all the more daunting doesn't it?

I learned that in some religions after you receive the Holy Ghost that is your one and only chance for Heaven. If you sin ONE time afterward you are condemned to Hell. I am grateful for the Atonement and the ability to always return to Heavenly Father no matter how far I stray.

Mostly I am grateful for the chance I had to "get the word out". It's nice to know that now, at least, 500 more people have a better understanding of what us Mormons believe in. 500 hearts are open just a little more.

Ramblings

I'm sure there have been a million things to post about lately. Like when Kevin got up at 4 AM, on a Saturday, so he could be to the temple at 5 AM to do Baptisms for the dead with the priests. Only he didn't need to get up that early because they had canceled it, but he forgot to check the messages until 3 pm Saturday afternoon. Yeah, that would have been a good one to post about. I'm still laughing.

Although, here I sit feeling anxious and discontent and non-directional. I wonder why I get this way sometimes. It usually comes after an unfulfilled day of being a mother because of the choices I made or my children. Or after checking my internal check list realizing I failed to be able to check one single thing off. Yet today was a pretty good day.

I feel this need to be more than I am. More perfect in parenting (if such a thing exists..not that I'm perfect, that is fairly obvious, but that such a thing as a perfect parent exists). More loving. More childlike. More patient. More stop-and-smell-the-roses. More creative in budget decorating. More directional. More frugal. More creative. More not-hiding-my-talent-under-a-bushel. More goal oriented. More outgoing. More caring. More spiritual. More consistent. More organized. More inspiring. More.....just more me.

Do you ever feel as if you are meant to be more than you are?

I often feel this way.

Often.

But I struggle to find the route that will let that "more" come out. It's not that I am unhappy. I am in fact very happy with my life, but cannot seem to shake that I should/am supposed to be more than I am. Not my life, me.

It's as if I keep getting a tap on the shoulder and someone says, "Hey. Remember you said you were going to do this when you got down here?" But I can't for the life of me "remember" what the "this" is. I know I have a specific goal to do here on Earth, it feels silly, foolish, and braggart-y to say it out loud. But I do. That's what this feeling boils down to. It's something I've known since my early teenage years. I just assumed I would know what it is I am supposed to do by now. Or at least have it narrowed down for goodness sake.

But I don't and so this feeling of un-achieved more-ness (it's late) comes with increasing frequency. This desire to be who I was intended to be becomes stronger and never quite fades to the back of my mind.

Occasionally it masks itself as a desire to go back to school and major in different areas; Deaf interpreter, interior designer, getting a PhD in something.......but that never quite fills the void.

Who knows. It's late and that's a dangerous time for me to be thinking.....no distractions and only my mind and all it's wandering ways for company.

Not something I want to see again.

I took Beckham to the dentist early this morning to get some sealants for his molars. They gave him a cocktail ( a combo of relaxing drugs) so that he would just be a noodle and not fight them.

After about 5 mins he started wobbling in his chair so I picked him up and held him. As he flopped his head back to look at me with glazed, drunken eyes, he started laughing in a slurred sort of your-blinking-eyelashes-are-hilarious way. By 10 mins after, anything he said was unrecognizable and he struggled to even make sounds.

They said he did fantastic and just laid there like a lump making their job very easy.

When I went back to the "recovery" room he was completely hazed over. I could tell he wanted to talk, but couldn't get his body to cooperate. I had to carry him to the car, holding his head so it didn't flop back.

He took it like a trooper and is now lamenting because I won't let him jump on the tramp just yet. You'd think he'd be tired of his brain swirling around, but no he'd also like to feel it jiggle against his skull.

The one thing he said as the medication was just on it's last leg was, "I just can't take this any more! I can't take anything any more today!" I'm assuming he meant lying down, but I can't be sure.

I hated seeing him like that. I hope I NEVER see that again especially if it's been brought on by something he has chosen to do to himself. That would be horrible. Not to mention I don't ever what to be the one to chose that for him either. I can't imagine having no control over your body.

Any guesses on what family night will be about on Monday?