6 lbs, Buffalo wings, OH and candy

I had my midwife appointment 2 weeks ago. Upon being weighed it was discovered that I had gained 6 lbs in the 5 weeks between my appointments.

Um.......that's not really supposed to happen.

Also something that is not supposed to happen is doubling your overall weight gain in one appointment. I accomplished that as well.

They were very kind and did not make me feel like the uncontrolled eater I have become. I was way more freaked out by the whole thing then they were. But they did mention I probably should try not to do that again.

The problem is my insatiable appetite for buffalo wings. The sauce by itself only has 5 calories per Tbs. So pretty much I can slather it's magical goodness on whatever I want. See that's the problem, it's the wings I want.

It doesn't matter if you are pregnant or not. If you eat boneless, breaded, food-from-all-things-good-and-wonderful, wings and dip them in yummy blue cheese dressing twice a day for two weeks straight proceeding to chase them with a nice after meal of 3 - 5 mini Halloween chocolates you WILL gain some weight. It's even been proven scientifically.

Yes, yes. I know what you are saying. But the taste is so worth the end result. I whole heartedly agree with you.....right now.....when my stomach can't be flat anyway.

But come 5 months from now you can bet you will see a post from me complaining about the difficulty of eliminating the unwanted fat that such glorious food deposited on my rear end. Nobody wants to hear that. I might even feel inclined post pictures of the "Before" me. And that in of itself is enough to keep young children up at night. It's better if we just try and avoid the situation all together.

As I left the office they were all giggling because they realized, and kindly pointed out, that my next appointment comes shortly after Thanksgiving and they have already witnessed the extent of my will power.

Somebody hand me a carrot stick.

Would you like some logic with that dessert?

Karaia has play group every Monday at 10 am. It was snowing quite heavily when it was time to leave, yesterday, so Kevin offered to drive her because the house was located on a very steep hill.

Kevin opted to take the longer, less steep way around. This however, did not exclude the slipperiness of the roads as he had hoped. Trying to navigate up a steeper portion of the course, the wheels began to spin very fast without moving the car forward. He began to resort to using his great mental prowess to will the car up and forward when Karaia asked, "Did the car run out of gas?"

"No. " (Now focusing intently on wielding the fast turning wheels to grip. the. road.)

"But, then why aren't we moving?"

There's nothing like being caught off guard by a 5 year old's logic.

Later in the day, I noticed Karaia opening and shutting the pantry followed by periods of intense concentration stirring something in a bowl. I asked her what she was doing. She announced she was making dessert for tonight so I was not allowed to have any just yet. But could she please put her "dessert" in the fridge so it wouldn't get old before dinner. Sure.

Fast forward to the end of dinner. She presents dessert to us and and with the pride of a great internationally known chef, begins dishing everyone up. As I am looking at my plate I recognize most of what has been placed there. It's the fact that I don't recognize it ALL that has me worried.

Me: What ingredients did you use?

K: Oh, crackers, raisins, popcorn......

Me: Wait. Popcorn. We didn't have popcorn today. Where did you get popcorn?

K: It was the yummy popcorn.

Me: Where did you get the yummy popcorn?

K: Behind the pink chair downstairs.

Me: Oh....MMMMM.

At which point I quickly utilized any slight of hand skills I possessed and made my, um, dessert disappear being careful to avoid any proximity to my mouth as I desired to live through out the night.