It is quite obvious this morning that I have failed as a mother.
My children care not for the instructions I give them and chose only to fulfill their immediate wants.
We talk about not doddling every day. Literally. We talk about the things that are considered doddling. We talk about what they need to do first BEFORE they can do what they want.
But if I am not right behind them checking up, they somehow magically forget the nice, well thought out, talk we had a mere 15 mins. before. Everyday.
They have consequences for doddling but they hold no lasting, if any, effect.
So it is obvious to me, that I have failed. I don't know how to succeed. It is not from lack of trying. How in the world are these children going to grow up to be productive members of society if I can't even teach them the importance of doing what they say they will regardless of whether or not someone has reminded them of it or is watching them.
It is also obvious that Tennyson will grow up to be a graffiti artist as he, this morning, yet again, found a random crayon and felt the need to tag Beckham's wall.
We have tried everything to curb this behavior. We try to supply him with plenty of paper and supervised coloring time every day. We put up the crayons when he cannot be supervised. He has a chalk board that he can color on whenever his heart desires. But even then he has to be supervised because he cannot control his desire to draw on everything....thank goodness chalk comes off easily.
The feeling of failure. What a lovely feeling to have so early in the morning. It goes nicely with a bowl of cereal and a large cup of tears.
4 comments:
I know what you are talking about Em. That feeling is often accompanied by jealousy on my part, wishing there was someone to take care of my every need, cook my meals, clean my clothes, listen to every random thought and idea that goes through my head and make me feel like the most important person in the world. Oh yeah, I did have one of those... I think they are called a mom. So just know while you have your cup of tears that someday they will also regret not appriciating when they had someone to take care of their every need, while they are trying to get their children out the door in a reasonable amount of time. And you will be sleeping in and having nights of uninterrupted sleep, and secretly laughing inside when they complain that no matter what they say to their kids they won't listen...
Tennyson just may be a graffiti artist though. Good luck with that one.
You haven't failed! your children are 6,4 and 2. Under the age of accountablilty. There is still a lot of teaching to be done... wait, are you being sarcastic? Cause you write so cleverly that maybe you are being sarcastic. If not, I don't want to discount your feelings... so just remember how young they are. Maybe you could give them the consequence of missing school for not being ready on time, and they have to stay in bed in their pjs all day... just a thought. It wouldn't work with a teenager of course. I'm sorry I haven't been available to help you.
If your children end up druggies and in prison, then you might consider feelings of failure...
I felt the same way today Emilie. I had to fight hayes to get him dressed and change his diaper. THen I lost him at shopko. Then he put on a pair of pink boots at the store and would not take them off. Seriously...could they just listen and actually do what they are told every once in awhile!
I think you do great as a mother but I understand those moments...and I only have two so I think you're doing great with three!
Any consolation... I think your kids are some of the best behaved I've ever seen! So you guys must be doing something right. Besides if they were perfect then they wouldn't need to be here to continue learning from you... so here's to imperfection!
Oh, and I think that you should be glad Tennyson shares your love of the arts! ;)
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