Slacking or balance

I can't decide if my lack of posting is because I am a slacker or I am finding my balance.

I do want to document my daily goings on, but not enough to add it to my daily to do list. I already have so many things on there, like laundry--folding it and getting it put away mainly--that I don't get to that I just leave blogging off the list so it doesn't stare me in the face mockingly when it's not crossed off.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with my house at the moment. So. many. piles. that I have just not taken the time to find a home for. I know exactly what I want my house to feel like and even look like, but putting forth the effort to get it in that state makes me feel even more tired than I already feel.

I sit here, with my first world problems, trying to figure out why they are indeed problems. I'm not sure. All I know is I am coming to terms with not being able to do it all and really not caring much how the outside world feels about that. That may or may not be a good thing.

In other news, the slide off the deck is functional! Man oh man did we run into all sorts of obstacles with that thing! One of which resulted in a chunk of the bottom of the slide being cut out only to realize later that that was unnecessary. Ah well. The kids don't notice or care.

AND we got a new niece, Aurora, today. I haven't met her yet, but I am sure that when I do my unfolded laundry will be the furthest thing from my mind.

Mr. T is 6

Tennyson turned six today!

He has been so excited.

I felt really bad though because I ordered his presents online, well in advance I thought, but by the time they shipped everything told me they wouldn't get here until Tuesday.

I explained the situation to Tennyson and he was so understanding. I told him I'd make him a super big breakfast of whatever he wanted. Eggs, hash browns, sausage, bacon, toast, and Orange juice was the order. Done and Done.

I kept asking him if he was really going to be ok with no presents to open on his special day. He kept telling me yes and wanted to know why I kept asking him. SUCH a great kid!

So we stuffed him for breakfast and then got to working on installing the slide on the deck. I know I am painfully behind on updates, but taking a break from blogging was a necessary insanity saver. I'm learning my boundaries and that I don't have do do everything. Anyway, the slide. And since It was his birthday, Tennyson didn't have to do any chores today. AND because mom was feeling super guilty about no presents and being so busy on such a special day he got to play as much wii as he could even imagine in the morning.

But the magical part was during all of the this Tennyson's presents arrived!!!!!!!!!! But he didn't know it and the slide was only hanging on by a few bolts and couldn't be left at the moment so we had to wait to tell him. 

We stopped working on deck stuff around 1:30 and took everyone out to Tennyson's restaurant of choice, Chuck o' Rama. (we still didn't have time for presents yet) Everyone makes fun of that place, but we love it. The kids don't have to wait to be served and the is something everyone likes.

At 3:00 we went over to Kevin's parents home to help put back together a playhouse that had been blown over in the big wind storm a year ago. We worked until about 6 and then headed to an Elder's Quorum BBQ. We stayed until 9 and then headed home.

I wish I would have had a camera in my eyes when we told Tennyson his presents had come. Pure joy!

Tennyson is such a bounce back kid. He sure has his emotional, irrational, moments, but when it really matters he is so good to see the big picture and go with the flow. His eyes and smile and giggle kill me. He is so kind to his siblings and rarely selfish. He is an excellent reader now and I love, love, LOVE his inventor's brain. He comes up with the best ideas!

I am so lucky I get to be his mom!

Almost there

One week left of school.

WE can do it!

I'm having a lot of fun with the launch of my new line, Personality, for Modern Yardage. My in-laws sewed something with each of the four colorways and it's been wonderful to have their help!

I find myself saying, "Hey! That looks like real fabric!" and "Oh, that's cute....wait, I designed that!"
I've been looking at these designs for so long now as computer files, that when they are in print I keep forgetting they are mine. Funny. 
 
I was short with the kids today. Lack of sleep. Extra things to do. Not enough hours in the day. I read all my friends blogs who are always making these great memories with their children. I need to be a lot better in this area. It's amazing how quickly the love I wake up feeling for them thins when the whining and disobedience begins. How does Heavenly Father do it?

I tried to start the day out with some scripture study and work on my Personal Progress, but I was having trouble with the log in and then real life started. I am just now remembering I never got back to it. Do you think I get an "A" for effort?

Beckham had his last regular season baseball game tonight. Playoffs start tomorrow.

Today was Sanders' last day of preschool. They had a water party. He must have had fun because he came home and didn't take a breath during his 20 minute recount of the afternoon.

I feel like I am super behind on my business web site. I know how to make a site successful, but it takes a lot of time. I'm just not sure I want to spend that time, but then I think I am missing out on this great opportunity.

But my young family is a better opportunity and that is just the way I like it.

Preschool program

Sanders had his preschool graduation at the exact same time as Karaia and Tennyson's soccer games. Who's ready for summer? THIS family! 

Sanders was hilarious. He only recently began to think that singing was "cool". Before that, any time I sang to him or asked him to sing he would only tolerate it and that was only if the song was on his short list. A list that mainly consists of Thomas the Train songs. I was over the moon when I Am a Child of God made the cut. 

Church songs were always met with glares and then lectures about how much he didn't like church songs. He happens to call this song the God song. I don't care what he calls it. I'm just glad he will let me add to our playlist and more importantly sing part of it with me.

But I digress. Sanders loved his program. He was wiggly and excited. He knew most of the actions and occasionally graced us with a word or two of the song. I know he knows more because he sings to himself now and again. But mostly he just did his thing and forgot that he was in front of a bunch of people. There may or may not have been some nose picking, booger eating going on that makes me gag. WHY does anyone do that?!?!!??! 

The highlight of the whole evening came after the last song. He thought his teacher had given them permission to give their moms the gift they had made us. Instead of walking around the tubs that held the props he, like any rational, fun loving boy, decided the fastest, most fun way, to me was to jump over the tub. 

Yup. You guessed it. His foot caught the tub, tipped it over, while the teacher was still talking, and he sprawled out on the floor. 

SO funny! AND I caught it all on tape!

He's a cute kid and always keeps us laughing. 

Sanders' picture is at the top right above him.

Oh how we LOVE Mrs. Karen!

In other news, we have decided to have Karaia and Beckahm go competitive in soccer. We found a leauge, DFC (Davis Futbol Club) that will give them the competition they need without sucking the fun out of soccer and there isn't too much travel. Karaia had try outs today and Beckham's are tomorrow.

One day at a time

I had a few calming thoughts these past few days amongst the stress that I'm starting to believe I don't know how to live without.

The Lord has a time line for me. Whether or not I try and micromanage it or not. I noticed it last week too. What I didn't share is that on my end, things seemed to keep getting in the way of progress, but it was also happening on the production end. The printer threw a hissy fit for two whole days. So even if my part had been able to be completed it would have just sat as a file, waiting for the printer to show up for work again.

Interesting.

Also, I finished all my files done before May even started so I would have time to get yardage out to the helpers (oh my goodness, how I LOVE the helpers!). But today, two days before June, I just barely got the fabric to them.

But I'm ok with that. For some reason, I very much feel like things are happening as they should. Which is weird, but cause technically every last thing is late.

Are deck is taking a bit longer. OH, but it's going to be gorgeous. I'd show you a picture but our hard drive died on our desk top and this lap top doesn't play well with the SD card. But trust. It's a beautiful space.

Still, not stressed about it. We are working on it when we can and when life demands to be lived we break from the deck and know that we will get back to it.

I did post a few pictures of my new line :) I am loving how it inspires me to create with it. I keep having moments where I think, "I love this fabric! ....wait...I made this!" It's surreal to have those experiences and I am so grateful for them.

June is going to be FUN!

I feel love with you

Today Sanders walked into the living room. I was in the kitchen. He stopped, looked at me, gasped, and then ran and put his little arms around me legs.

Looking up at my face he said, "I feel love with you! I want to marry you!"

"You do? What did I do to earn your love?"

"You snuggle with me."

Tonight he set the table and whispered to me, "I gave you the first fork because you snuggle with me."

Those two little interactions make everything worth it and then some.

The definition

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I'm so grateful Tennyson and I had a wonderful day yesterday because today was exactly the reason Heavenly Father gives you good days so you have a little reserve to pull from. Tennyson is still learning to listen to his body and take the appropriate measures when it tells him to. (Yes, I know this is potentially embarrassing for him and I realize my blog is public AND I also print my blog into a book for my children to read. But guess what, this is my real life and it isn't always pretty and quite often things are embarrassing. I have no wish to scar my children, but I do wish to document what our life was really like. The good, the great, the awful, the embarrassing, the wonderful, the silly, the unhappy, the joyful, all of it. I want it all down where we can remember it and grow from it. )

Anyway, off my soap box now.

Tennyson is working on stuff and today seemed to be one of those days he decided not to work so hard on it. Sigh. He will be in first grade in a few months. It's a concern. Mostly because he really is SUCH a great kid. His giggle is amazing and infectious. He is so independent and gets things done when he sets his mind to it. He has an incredible mind for inventions. He is a wonderful friend. Even when we are super frustrated with each other and I don't like the choices he's made and he doesn't like the consequences he's earned, that I'm enforcing, he still will curl in my arms for a hug if I offer it. I try to offer it when I am most mad so I can remember he is still little and we are both still learning.

But nothing seems to be helping the learning in this area. Day after day, multiple times a day. Night has it's own set of things we deal with, but I'm not worried about that. Sometimes a body just needs to grow more to be able to handle the night. But the day? Yeah, that one should be handled. already.

I really have no idea what to do. It doesn't seem to matter what he is or isn't doing at the time his body tells him it is time to move! It's frustrating and I worry it will affect how he thinks about himself. I want him to focus on the good. Are you kidding? I want to focus on the good, but it's tremendously hard when his behaviors require multiple consequences for the SAME behavior during one day.

Sigh.

I've got to change the way I'm doing things. I'm just not sure what. 

Someday, Tennyson. You can do this!!!! Go Mr. T!

To completely change subjects, my dear friend, Jo'ell, had some complications shortly after delivering a baby yesterday. It was pretty scary stuff most of the day today and I asked the kids to include her in all of their prayers. Later in the day the kids asked me how she was doing.

"Well, she was bleeding a lot and they couldn't get it to stop so they had to do surgery to stop it."

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Sanders piped up in the background, "No, no, no. They should have just used a band aid!"

Ah kids. I would never trade this job for anything! No matter what.