Thursday, February 28, 2013
I needed help digging out my unorganized home. Too many fun projects and far to much of a lazy (in house work) personality and I was feeling caved in.
I knew she was the right person for the job and I knew that she lives for this kind of thing, helping me and organizing. She loves them both. She is awesome at both!
But organizing is SO much not my thing that it took a few years for mom and I to work out a system. She now asks before she tosses things and I try super, super hard to remember that my end goal is to have an organized spot which usually leads to tossing things.
So it's good.
Sanders, my baby, turns 4 on Saturday.
Family is coming over and when that happens I wake up from my sheltered little life and realize that they all live in more organized homes than I do, and all the projects that I had planned on doing since they last came over 3 months ago still remain untouched, and I panic. I know they love me regardless, but still, I panic.
In my brain my home is all Pottery Barn and Real Simple, or it has potential to be. But in my reality I haven't had time to decorate how I'd like much less put things back where they belong...or find a home for them to belong to.
Great. Now I sound like a hoarder.
I'm not a hoarder. My halls and kitchen table are clear and we always sit down for a family dinner every night. Except two night ago because it would be better for the children if we watched a show while we ate rather than having to work so hard ignoring me while I correct their utensil holding for the hundredth gazillionth time.
Organizing. Not a skill I have although I dream about it being mine someday.
ALSO, I have been eating like a cow. Seriously. What is my problem? It's such an entitlement thing for me. I WANT to eat that so I should be able to. End of story. Meanwhile come summer, when it's a health risk to hide under sweat shirts, I will be cursing my lack of control.
Get. a. grip. Em!
I feel like I need a month break from real life to get my pretend, what I wish for life, in order.
Yes, I see the irony.
Life is good though. Busy. But good.
AND my office is 95% organized! Woot!Thank you, Mom!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
I got a nap!!!
I didn't feel tired and grumpy when the kids came home from school.
I wasn't rushed getting ready for new beginnings tonight.
Everyone enjoyed the hot chocolate bar at New Beginnings.
AND, now it's over. It went well.
It was a really great day.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
"Sometimes, after I've run an errand with the kids in tow, I'll let them run in the house and I'll just sit in the car, by myself, for five minutes."
I got so many comments from mothers who do the same thing. It was kind of nice to know that once in a while other moms, and dads, need to be by themselves too. For just a second...or five minutes.
It's not that we don't love being moms. We do! But sometimes it gets to us and we need that reboot. That moment of peace.
I read my scriptures in that five minutes sometimes...sometimes I read Facebook too ;) Still, when I really, REALLY need to find that second wind I turn to the scriptures about patience, or humility, or family, or endurance.
Then I put on my happy face and pretend I've just come home from a weekend long getaway and I missed seeing my kids for 3 whole days instead of the 5 minutes we were apart.
Things are happier.
Not perfect, mind you, but happier.
Speaking of a happy moment, I was helping Karaia glue her One Direction finger nails, that she got at Eliza's party yesterday, back on and managed to glue my middle and thumb together...with super glue!
Karaia and I laughed so hard! She ran around telling the boys, "Mom's fingers are glued together FOREVER!"
It was like that for a good 45 minutes before Kevin came home and rescued me by gently rolling the glued finger and thumb. I didn't even lose any skin!
Yay for moving fingers!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Ah well, a mom can try.
It sounds like they had a wonderful time! They must be in tune psychically because their outfits even matched.
Karaia couldn't wait until the party tonight for Eliza to open her present so she gave it to her on the way up. Karaia says Eliza loved the watch and kept showing everyone all day what she was wearing.
|Look at these gorgeous girls!|
Karaia was wiped out when she got home which is a sure sign of a day well spent! We love that Eliza girl and are so happy to have Karaia spend her special day with her!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
She pulled it out of her box, hid the picture from me, and then slowly brought it up to just under her eyes. She then quickly turned it around to show me the picture and said with every girlish squeal you have ever heard, "It's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!"
I immediately thought, "I had NO idea she even knew about them...and she is in deep. Really deep."
I'm still not sure how she knows so much about them.She's only 10. Then again, I guess that's their target market isn't it.
On the valentine was a picture of the current boy band, One Direction.
Sigh. Oh, that's coming from her, not me. I'm not the one who thinks Harry is just, "Soooooo cute!"
Now she says things to me like, "Mom! Do you know what else makes One Direction so awesome? ....They're British!"
I laugh only because I remember being her age and having the same feelings, only it was over The Monkees and Davie Jones.
I know. What was I thinking? Weird.
Her friend, Eliza, who also has "Direction Infection" ,as Karaia tells me it's called, has a birthday tomorrow. Karaia knew just what to get her. A watch, but not just any watch. That's right a 1D (nick name for One Direction for all of you still trying to catch up) watch.
Thankfully, Kohls came through.
|She choose the white one with the charms on the end to give to Eliza. She wanted the silver one for herself.|
Afterwards we were so wiped out we had to get a smoothie. It tastes better on a lip couch.
You should try it sometime.
THEN, Karaia had a gift card burning a hole in her pocket and she found just the thing to spend it on and make it the most perfect day.
She pets it like it's a cat.
I love that girl!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Kevin and I went on a mulligan date last night.
Definition of MULLIGAN
Friday, February 22, 2013
"WAHOO! No work, only learning!"
Thursday, February 21, 2013
"My life has changed in the last few years. It started with a dream I had 3 years ago. A really, REALLY, seemingly improbable, if not impossible, dream I had of becoming a fabric designer. I was scared that I even thought that. Who was I? I was just small. Just me. Nothing too fancy or even really noticeable. But, I had always felt I was more than unnoticeable. It wasn’t that people were ignoring me, it was that I wasn’t letting the real me out. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know who she was. I was hiding something special about me. Nah, that was too conceded to think that way and so I’d stuff that ridiculous thought down. Still, I felt strangely connected and driven to this dream and decided that scary or not I was going to try. Even more scary, I was going to tell people of my dream even if that meant failing publicly.
For a year I picked myself up, gave myself really good hugs and great peps talks and cried a lot, set back after set back. I could feel myself becoming who I was meant to be, but I was still holding back. Fear is a funny thing like that. I knew what I wanted. I still doubted that I, little me, was capable of something that seemed so wonderful. It felt beyond me. I even felt ashamed that I was starting to think that way. What would people think of me if I thought I was wonderful?
I’ve always been body conscious. I believe most girls are, maybe most boys too. Just before my fourth baby was to turn two, I decided I really wanted to take control of my thought process. If I didn’t like my body I was going to do something about it, not just complain. This was two years ago, 2011, which was one year into my quest. I had started to believe that I was in charge of my fate. Not fully convinced, but in the fake-it-‘til-you-make-it phase. For Christmas I asked my mother-in-law for a month with a personal trainer. She told me to pick the gym and she would sign me up.
There were so many to choose from. I did a lot of research. I finally settled on GPP. I can’t remember all the reasons I choose GPP, but I do remember that one of the biggest deciding factors was that it was the closest. Lucky me.
I started January 3, 2011. I didn’t just start at GPP, I jumped in feet first without looking. I committed and stuck to 6 workouts a week, after doing nothing for who knows how long, and The burst cycle diet for the next 6 weeks.
I couldn’t lift my almost 2 year old out of his crib the first week. I would cry every time he woke up because it hurt so, so bad to move anything. I would kind of get him balanced on the railing and slide him out and catch him on the way down. And I washungry! I would retreat to the bathroom every. Single. Night and take a bath as there was NO food allowed in the bathroom because that, my friends, is disgusting. Even I, the lover of all things food, draw a line at that one.
But I did it. I was perfect at it. Perfect. I never cheated once. I even ate every single piece of 4 -6 oz of meat, for the whole 6 weeks without a single seasoning on it. Not even salt. Why? Because I thought it was against the diet. I didn’t want to do anything to mess it up. I was in control of my fate. Me.
Little me who was realizing how strong she was. She could clean 75lbs, more than half her weight, easily. She could do burpees with the best of them. She might have been the slowest at every workout, but she continually beat her own times and more importantly she finished every single one of them. Every day she was doing more than she would have thought probable or possible.
I was strong. I was in control. I could change.
The funny thing about GPP is it kind of seeps into your whole life. Yes, physically you become stronger, faster, leaner, but so does the rest of your life. You begin to draw parallels. If I can lift that much, endure that long, then surely I don’t have to be afraid of a refusal. I could probably beat them up if they get really mean. I don’t have to fear trying and failing because I have learned that trying is never failing. It’s just the practice, the conditioning, before the success comes. But beyond that you start to realize, I am kind of awesome! Look at what I’ve been able to do and it’s OK that I know that and even that others know that.
GPP encourages us to know that. To know that we are awesome. To know that it’s OK to be good at something and, AND even talk about it. *GASP* That is so very hard to do. Not in a braggy way. No, let’s leave that for those who care more about fitness than life. No, GPP focuses on owning your awesomeness because if you don’t know where your strengths are you will fail to use your best path for success. You will continually try and fail because you are using other’s strengths rather than finding your own. They don’t care if it works for everyone else. YOU are not everyone. You are unique and so is your life and so are your strengths. Anyone who tells you otherwise hasn’t found their awesomeness either. GPP teaches you that.
I completed my first 6 weeks (losing 9 inches overall and 10lbs) at GPP a warrior. Both in the gym and in my soul. I had done hard things, really hard things. Hide-in-the-bathroom-because-I-WILL-eat-that-chocolate-if-I-don’t hard things. And while I was battling in the gym I was taking those tools I’d been armed with and using them in my life.
I ended up having a really great year fabric design wise. You would not believe the big wigs I just walked up to and asked that they look at my designs. Seriously, head of companies, big. Without appointments. I know! WHO was this girl?!!? I was very kind and polite, but I was no longer unnoticeable. I was Emilie. Just a girl, but a girl with a really big heart and a big dream who knew that she would succeed no matter if she was the last one left on the floor. She would finish her goal. She would finish her “workout”. And they listened. I could see it in their eyes. They didn’t know why exactly they were listening, why they were responding, but they could sense that I was capable of whatever I set my mind too and so they listened.
I didn’t get a contract that year, but on Oct. 24, 2012 I signed my first contract to lease my designs for fabric production! I never gave up. I knew it would happen. I felt driven and guided by many things and I feel strongly that I landed at GPP for a reason.
GPP and fabric design are not a likely pairing, but they belong in the same story for me. GPP helped set me free. It taught me it was good to try and become great at something. I could be the person I’d always thought I was, deep down, when no one was looking. I was strong. But more than that, I could become strong. Just because I started out weak did not mean it had to stay that way. I could do hard things, really well.
When people ask why I do such “crazy” workouts or diets I look at them and tell them, it helps remind me of who I came to Earth to be and how much potential I have to do some good in this world. I may be only one. One who is not physically large by any worldly standards. But you should see my soul. It’s a giant! And it’s been freed. That, my friends, is worth every burpee you can throw at me."
Want to read more about my first encounter with Gpp? It's sprinkled among the January Posts here and the February Posts here
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Tennyson's first field trip is tomorrow. He can barely contain his soul in his body for how excited he is.
He said," Here's my plan. I'm going to sleep in until my alarm goes off (...Umm...I'll believe that when I see it) then I'm going to get dressed. Then I'm going to eat breakfast. Then I'm going to do my hair. Then I'll have time to play. THEN I'm going to get my snow pants on and my boots and my gloves and my coat and my hat. And then I'm going to go on a field trip! "
I realized this fieldtrip meant everything to him when I picked him up from school and he told me, "Mom, all the moms who are coming were on a list and you weren't on there."
My heart broke a little. I would have been there in a heart beat if I had known his dream included me there.
His teacher smoothed it over telling him not all the moms could come so maybe next time.
You better believe I'm not going to miss next time!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Grandma Candace has a rule that once you are 1st grade you get to spend a WHOLE day, just you and Grandma, at the Capital with her. Grandma Candace is a lobbyist and the kids love, love, LOVE when it's their day.
Grandma put him to work doing all sorts of intern type things and I have no doubt that at some point in Beckham's life he will either intern for her for real or one of the Legislators. He really loves it up there.
Monday, February 18, 2013
I want to live my life with a general idea of what I'd like to do and get done during the day. No real schedule, but fitting it all in. In reality, when I do that nearly nothing gets done because I am worrying about the things I am not doing whenever I am doing something. I know. I'm a bit crazy.
So, I sat down and wrote out my whole day. I even scheduled play time with the kids, free time for me, and time with Kevin. It stunk. I am not looking forward to this much.
I took it for a small test run today. I wasn't strict because it's a holiday and the kids are home at times they wouldn't normally be. But it wasn't too bad. I actually got a lot done.
We will see how long I stick to it though. To fit everything in I need to wake up at 5:45am and go to bed at 10:30pm. Both decent, good for you times, but it requires completely rewriting my internal clock.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
"Hey mom this is Karaia guess what while I was making mac and cheese for lunch I burned my self and it hurts soooooooo bad!"
It makes me pretty excited for when she can text. Random insights into her world.
I've also gotten ones like these complete with pictures. Yup, she's learned to talk a selfie, upload and attach it. She is always in a silly mood when she is taking her picture. Her main goal of the picture is to make me laugh...well, you'll see.
"you did a great job on your talk i'm glad I listend to it. I made my heart feel happy"
I have also gotten an email with the subject of "Advice" it read, "9 was a good age"
And then this one
"Love you too!"
She cracks me up!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
I went to a blogger conference and was inspired and reminded of a few things and am excited for the experience and knowledge it provided me to help me with my design world. I will have to revisit that topic later because I am right in the middle of writing a talk I have been asked to give in Sacrament meeting tomorrow.
I love writing. I do. The right combination of words gives me the same rush as the right color combination. Perhaps they are related, words and colors. Words paint pictures...colors, well, they're used in paintings. Ok, bad example of the "right combination" of words :)
Either way, it makes me feel alive and as if I'm taping into some old soul that isn't quite mine yet. Maybe one day. One day I will find the right words and the right time to explore this part of me.
Friday, February 15, 2013
My nephew was over and Tennyson was trying to talk to me. I was texting or checking my calendar or something like that on my phone, responding with uhuhs and mmmms with my back to Tennyson, when Evan said, "Emilie, Tennyson is trying to talk to you."
This is amazing for a number of reasons. Evan was recently diagnosed with Autism. He usually only speaks to me in a whisper and has only very, very recently spoken to me on his own accord without any prompting from me. And he NEVER has used my name to address me before. The fact that he recognized I was being socially inappropriate and called me on it, is, quite frankly, a miracle in my eyes on so many levels. I was very grateful to recognize it for what it was. As well as to hear the reminder, from a child, that it's important to BE there for my children. Everything else can wait.
Evan also kept me laughing. He ran into the kitchen, skidded to a stop and said, "Uh oh! I need a snack!"
Kids are the best!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Sanders doesn't. He acts like you are chopping off a limb just when you talk about it. When he found out that his preschool was having a Tea Party today for Valentine's Day AND you were supposed to wear your best clothes because it helps you use your best manners he formed a plan. He started his campaign on Monday.
In a this is law and shall be obeyed kind of way he announced, "Mom, I am NOT going to wear church clothes on Thursday."
"Mrs. Karen asked you to."
"Not going to do it."
"We'll figure something out."
And similar variations for the rest of the week. I noticed his campaign seeping into all his other conversations.
"Beckham, I'm going to have a mustache and lips party for my birthday!....but NOT with church clothes!"
In the end he settled for a nice sweater as long as he got to wear a plain t-shirt, NOT a church shirt, underneath it. I also talked him into his church shoes. Extra bonus!
At the Tea Party today I got to help with some games. We were playing Bingo. Sanders pointed to a bow and arrow and asked who it was again that welded that weapon."
"Cupid. He shoots those arrows to make people fall in love."
"Oh right. Cupid. Nobody loved Cupid so he shot them with his arrows...and killed them."
Something like that, Buddy, something like that.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Especially if you are a mom of school age children.
Also, if you are
AND put on a Preschool Valentine's party by your self.
If someone wants to show that they love me tomorrow, all I want is a nap!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
You have to understand that Denise is a master quilter. She knows her fabrics and then some! It was such a delight and honor to have her share her excitement with me. She chose multiple designs which thrilled me to no end. What a compliment! My designs are in very good hands and I know she will create something beautiful with them.
I couldn't help but smile the rest of the day. It made everything so real. That is exactly how I wanted my designs to make people feel. Happy. Inspired. Excited. Talk about a dream coming true!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Later in the day the temptation to smash all three colors together grew too hard to resist and he created a "flat cake" that he insisted on taking an action eating shot. So do the kid a favor and pretend you really believed he was eating that delicious flat cake....that is comprised of naturally occurring flat cake colors. Everyone knows that.
Also, someone needs a hair cut!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
I was barley made aware of this new standard. He put the tape on the wall and then came and handed me a pen and told me what to write.
Luckily, Tennyson says he likes green, "a little bit."
Saturday, February 9, 2013
I actually was horrified too when she told me, but I was also so proud of her for realizing that it was a mistake all on her own and feeling remorseful about it.
We talked all about friends and which ones of her friends she feels like are the better influences in her life. We talked about the difference in being inspired by a friend to change something about yourself because their lives make your realize you can be an even better verse of you vs feeling ashamed of something about your self because of how a "friend" makes you feel about less then the awesome person you are.
I am so grateful she has discovered these lessons, on her own, at such a young age. Karaia is a wonderful person and I am so excited to watch her grown and turn toward a path that will bring her so much light and happiness.
Friday, February 8, 2013
The older two kids have been on this home lunch kick lately. They are waking up early so they can make their lunches and do all the rest of their morning jobs before school. Here's the conversation I had with them about home lunch and school lunch:
Me: Why do you want home lunch so bad?
Them: Because school lunch is nasty.
Me: Why is it nasty?
Them: Because of Michelle Obama.
Me: Michelle Obama?
Them: Yeah, she wants school lunch to be healthy so now we only have healthy stuff to choose from. They tell us we have to have enough fruits and vegetables.
Me: Do you have dessert?
Me: Yeah, something sweet.
Them: Sometimes we have fortune cookies, and this blueberry stuff.
Me: So let me get this straight, you don't like school lunch because they tell you what you have to eat and it's all healthy?
Them: Yeah, it's all Michelle Obama's fault.
They usually end up making peanut butter sandwiches with some other things thrown in to round it out.
I think it's interesting that they are completely irritated because the government (Michelle Obama) is trying to choose what they eat for lunch. I guess we'd better make sure we have enough peanut butter...
Thursday, February 7, 2013
I'm reading the book "I Didn't Plan to be a Witch and Other Surprises of a Joyful Mother" by Linda Eyre. It's been really helpful in my attitude toward my most grow promoting child, Tennyson. The thought that struck my the most today was that instead of being surprised at the chaos that is sometimes created I can choose to wake up and think, "I wonder what great story Tennyson is going to help me tell Kevin later today!"
These qualities that are a bit trying right now are going to be such a blessing to him in his life if we can just get them focused in the right direction!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Well, today the stars aligned in Tennyson and Sanders' favor. They got to the chapel first and half of the ward was gone and, AND, they asked their dad before they asked me.
Do you know what bench they chose? The front one, thankfully off to the side. At first I reacted like this, "Oh, I do not think so. That is so not going to work. No way!" Then Kevin and the two boys pulled puppy dogs eyes on and I caved.
But they were so go, comparatively. I mean, my boys will always be boys that don't sit quietly compared to girls, but for them, they were excellent.
Karaia, on the other hand, had to be convinced by more than just me (read other members of our ward) that she needed to move and sit with her family in the front. When we finally got my oldest, my only girl, my 10 year old up to the front bench, she sat there and cried and pouted and then pulled her head into her coat like a turtl. And then she just got mad.
Kevin and I were laughing so hard because we'd look over and she was just mumbling under her breath about things not being fair and how she will NEVER sit on the front again. all the while fervently writing in her little note book. So Kevin smiled at her. Which caused a chain reaction of notes back and forth between the two of them. Karaia handed Kevin the paper she had been attacking in her semi-silent fury. It looked something like this:
"never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never..."
You get the picture.
Kevin wrote, " We are going to sit on the front row every week until you are happy." He was stifling a laugh the whole time.
Karaia's rebuttal was,"Then I will always be grumpy."
Technically she has 3 more years until she is a teenager. As if!
( Hair flip and mouth left open) This is going to be hilarious!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Which means we cleaned the house. Although, that also happened because it is Saturday and that's what we try and do on Saturdays.
Cleaning the house also means our kids all spontaneously all forgot how to properly do the cleaning jobs, even though they were the same jobs they did last week. And the week before that. And the week before that. You get the picture.
THEN they are shocked and appalled that they are made to redo the jobs they didn't do properly. As if we are pulling these rules out of the air.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Me: "Yes, yes they are."
Sanders: "And boys are men and persons!"
I love hearing my children's minds work.
Sanders asked me tonight, "We do we eat and talk with our mouth?"
"Um, because that's what it's made for. How would you do those things without a mouth?"
In an incredulous tone that suggests audacity for even thinking to ask him such a question, "Well, I don't know".