Friday, July 27, 2012

Break in the clouds

Good things have been happening around here! I'm taking charge of my health, yet again, and while it's not smooth sailing we are at least sailing in a positive direction.

But the biggest accomplishments have come from my Beckham. He's like a different kid. I was worried that the 3 weeks without friends and screen time would cause a further downward spiral, but Kevin and I felt it had reach a level that needed big consequence. Boy, am I glad we stuck with it!

Beckham has been responsible, kind, respectful, helpful, and overall just pleasant to be around. His siblings have noticed it too and the four of them have played with each other, and only each for days, all day long with hardly any grievences.

It's been like our own personal Heaven.

I am just so, so proud of him and how much effort he has put into making this change. He reminds us that he doesn't get screen time if we forget and suggest that for an activity. He still does not love every job that is required about him, but he voices his dislike in a respectful manner. Such an amazing transformation!

The other good news is Beckham is now pool safe. Meaning he can swim in the deep end safely without a life jacket. It's SUCH a great thing to have the two older kids safe around water.

Wahoo! Our little family is moving into a really fun time of life. So very exciting!!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Little effort Big reward

We found a great treasure this summer. Justine! She is our swimming teacher. She is one of the instructors at the Rec Center, but does private swimming lessons on the side. She is wonderful!

Each kid has their own 30 min. lesson every day for a week. This week Tennyson and Sanders have lessons and in 2 weeks Karaia and Beckham will have their turn.

At the beginning of the week Tennyson was eager but didn't have a lot of skill. By the end of the lesson on Tues. he could do a front stroke and stay a float for a few feet!!! I was blown away and he was so proud. Today he mastered floating on his back for pretty much forever. Wahoo!!

Sanders can float on his back all on his own, but he refuses to believe it and keeps insisting he will sink. She's barely holding him up. It's a mental thing. Still, he will put his face in the water, hold onto the kick board and float on his back, and is a lot less nervous about the whole affair. It's a beautiful thing!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I can

I read a lot of blogs. I mean a LOT. I am all subscribed with my nice little Google Reader that tells me who has put up a new posts and how many of them. That way I can read them all from one spot and they will keep until I have a free moment to get to them.

I also love Pinterest . The two seem to go hand in hand really. Because of Pinterset, today I found my new favorite blog. I personally choose to believe that the timing is anything but coincidental. I found 71 Toes because of her Daughter of God Week post for Young Women's. As I began to look around her blog I realized she is the daughter of two authors who have written books that have been on my radar to read for quite some time now (thank you Annie!).  In particular, I didn't plan to be a witch and Other Surprises of Joyful Mother by Linda Eyre and....really after the last post the perfect placement of this into the forefront of my mind yet again is just too much to ignore.....The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership by Richard and Linda Eyre. 

Do you have goosebumps? Because I do! 

I searched my local libraries, but none of them have copies available for some time. So I bought them. 

Then I continued to read posts from 71 Toes and have decided that she needs to be one of my new friends. So much light and joy and real life coming from that one. Admitting she loses her temper at times but trying so hard to focus on the end goal. There is nothing more I love than to admire someone who is imperfect, knows it, but believes they can do more. 

I'm grateful to my Father in Heaven for sending the help he has sent. It's seems to be just the hug and pep talk I need to be the Mom I dream of being and helping my children become the people they were sent to be. 

Thank you to those who commented on the last post. It's always nice to know you have a cheering section when you momentarily forget how to cheer.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

recommitting to being recommitted

Seriously. Are you sick of me yet. I quite am.

I just need to get my act together and BLOG. I am missing so much documentation of my life, my children's lives. The trouble is there are pictures to upload. I  don't know why that is the with pictures are great. But it seems to be my Goliath when it comes to blogging.

The thing is, is I need this outlet. To record my happy and sad moments.

For example, if I may get more personal than I have been in quite some time, my son, Beckham, the 7 year old, is struggling. A lot. There is a lot of disrespect and blatant disobedience and blaming everyone and everything under the sun for the consequences except himself.

I feel I am at a loss. Kevin and I are very consistent parents who follow through with the consequences and still he continues to choose behaviors he knows will, in the end, make his life harder and then he has, as he puts it, "the worst summer ever all because of YOUR stupid consequences!"

Now I am not so old that I cannot not recognize that much of that statement was said for the shock value. And yet I am shocked. Shocked that there could possibly be a being that comes from me, that has been raised by me, that does not take owner ship of his own actions. Both Kevin and I are very clear about that topic with our children. It's fine to feel anger. It's fine to feel sad. It's fine to feel mischievous. It is even welcome to express those feelings if you are in control of yourself and respectful when doing so. But we have taught our children to take ownership, or so we thought, of their behaviors if they choose to loose control. And we expect them to loose control to an extent. They are after all only children. That is fine. Just take ownership, learn from it what you can, apologize, and grow.

Underneath all this anger and disrespect is SUCH a good kid and he is very, very loved. We try to show that love a lot. He has so much potential and a heart to go with it. I'm not sure where the anger is coming from. He is mostly well behaved when we are away from home. Which I am thankful for. It gives me hope. When he is home it is a different story.Everyone is always wide eyed when they learn of some consequence Beckham has earned. I've seen the questions in their eyes about whether this isn't too much of a consequence. But I can't be worried about what anyone else thinks. Only what Beckham is learning....or not learning it feels like.

Mostly I am just terribly, terribly sad. He's only 7 for goodness sake. Shouldn't this trial come a bit latter? Shouldn't you feel at a complete loss in the parental department when you have at least 13 years of happy relationship building to fall back on?

I'm hesitant to post this incase you get the wrong impressions of Beckham or our family life. We really do have it great, today just seemed especially.......character building shall we say. Doesn't me we still can't find joy, it may be a bit more hidden, but it's still there.